Dear Mother

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Dear Mother
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A Lot or a Little?
The parents' guide to what's in this movie.
What Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that Dear Mother is a French dramatic comedy based on a 2013 play by Sébastien Thiery about a professionally successful man experiencing a midlife crisis of boredom. While a comedy, still expect many scenes that show 2 men and a woman repeatedly trying to remove the clothing of an older woman who doesn't give her consent. They try many different schemes to accomplish this goal. In addition to the sexual violence, an older woman collapses from a heart attack, a woman with a knife threatens sexual violence to a man, and a young woman is shamed for having sex with multiple partners. There's male and female full-frontal nudity (not erect penises), frank discussions about sex, sexual practices, and intimacy, sex work, oral sex, a few sex scenes, and sexual noises. Adults frequently smoke cigarettes, and a man passes out from taking horse tranquilizers. Strong language throughout includes: "f--k," "f--king," "s--t," "a--hole," "p---y," "d--k," "pr--k," "damn," "vagina," "tranny," "blowjob," "suck," "bastard," and "piss off."
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What's the Story?
In DEAR MOTHER, Jean-Louis (Laurent Lafitte) is bored sexually and professionally. His wife, Valerie (Karin Viard), isn't all that sympathetic until Jean-Louis discovers that his heart has stopped beating, even though he feels fine. They seek out a spiritual guru for help, and she tells them that in 3 days he will die unless they get a photograph of his mother's genitals. How will Jean-Louis ever get that?
Is It Any Good?
This comedy is often wacky and ridiculous, but too much of its chaos is too hard not to grimace at. The performances in Dear Mother are committed, zany, goofy, and even admirable, especially given what's asked of them, but unfortunately the commitments of the performers can't save this Freudian inspired story of a man needing a photograph of his mother's vagina. For many viewers, it will feel just too icky to try to look for laughs while watching 3 adults sexually assault an older woman over and over, and to the point of her almost dying. The premise has to do with something about Jean-Louis needing to rectify his relationship with his mother, or he will die. And in order to do that he needs the photo. Because the photo will accomplish that magically, instantly, evidently. But over the course of the film, nothing about the journey nor its conclusion (the attaining of the photograph of his mother's vagina) has anything to do with Jean-Louis's relationship with his mother. In other words, by the end, Jean-Louis isn't all of a sudden "closer" to his mother nor is their relationship better, fixed, or different, really, at all. The only difference is that in the last however many days, her son, and his wife and friend, repeatedly sexually assaulted her, the friend even posing as a gynecologist, an infatuated lover, and a nude photographer. Sure, "hilarity" ensues, but the logic of the story doesn't make sense.
And the conclusion seems to suggest that through sexual violence, lying, manipulation, coercion, and false imprisonment one's goals can be achieved? The plot is basically a pro-Machiavellian exercise. Of all the goals or things the main character could've done to achieve or attain, why this goal? Because the idea, itself, is funny? Because it then authorizes scene after scene of sexual assault? Or is that merely a "comedic" bonus? Either way, what the film ends up with is an older woman character who is basically in the film only to be attacked. She is continuously "tricked" into believing her son actually wants to spend time with her and is eventually imprisoned to suffer attack after attack until she suffers a stroke or heart attack (isn't clarified).
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about sexual violence in comedy movies. How did you feel about the sexual violence in Dear Mother, even though it's all supposed to be funny?
What other nonviolent ways might Jean-Louis go about getting what he needs?
How different would this film look like if Valerie was the one experiencing a midlife crisis (not her husband) and she had to get a picture of her father's (not her mother's) privates?
Movie Details
- On DVD or streaming: January 11, 2022
- Cast: Laurent Lafitte, Karin Viard, Vincent Macaigne, Hélène Vincent
- Director: Laurent Lafitte
- Studio: Netflix
- Genre: Comedy
- Run time: 98 minutes
- MPAA rating: NR
- Last updated: February 28, 2022
Our Editors Recommend
For kids who love drama and comedy
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