Parents' Guide to Greenland 2: Migration

After the unexpectedly gripping original, it seemed like a great idea to revisit the Garrity family and see how they're getting on; alas, not so much. Made by the same writing (Chris Sparling) and directing (Ric Roman Waugh) team, with the addition of a second writer, Mitchell LaFortune, Greenland 2: Migration drops everything about 2020's Greenland that worked. That movie's compact time frame, sense of urgency, and conflicted characters worked together to build to something with a real impact. The sequel, on the other hand, meanders from one set piece to another, each set up pretty much like the previous one, with virtually no character conflict at all. Whatever the Garrity family was going through before has been fully resolved, and they all get along great now. (The only problem is that John has the occasional bout of "movie cough.")

And the movie behaves as if they're the most important trio on Earth. People die around them, and they keep on going as if nothing happened. Even a pause for a burial comes back around to being all about them. Characters give them supplies, guns, and even vehicles at every turn, and they frequently get special treatment. When they reach a particular bus, they're told that "people wait days for this bus." But when John says "please," he and his family are given seats, and the bus departs immediately. There's no suspense, and the ending is entirely predictable. Greenland 2: Migration leaves off with (spoiler alert?) John's wish that a new Edenic world started in the crater will be about "kindness, compassion, and understanding," which is a nice sentiment—but the 98 minutes it takes to get there are a chore.