Growing Up Coy
By Barbara Shulgasser-Parker,
Common Sense Media Reviewer
Common Sense Media Reviewers
Parents fight for trans child's rights in informative docu.
A Lot or a Little?
What you will—and won't—find in this movie.
Where to Watch
Videos and Photos
Growing Up Coy
Community Reviews
There aren't any parent reviews yet. Be the first to review this title.
What's the Story?
GROWING UP COY is a revealing documentary showcasing two parents courageous enough to stand up for the rights of their transgender daughter, who was discriminated against by her school. At first the school allowed the child to use the girls' bathroom, as per requirements of Colorado law. But the school reversed its position, seemingly because other parents objected to the possibility that their little girls might see Coy's penis. The parents' effort to help protect the rights of one of their children consumes their time and emotional energy, already strained by caring for their four other kids, one of them severely disabled by cerebral palsy. Kathryn becomes critical of Jeremy for being away and taking less responsibility for dealing with the media. Jeremy moves out temporarily as they try to sort out their differences and save the marriage. Their 6-year-old son feels neglected because of the attention Coy's case receives. Even after they turn to the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, which files a successful civil rights complaint, the Mathises observe that Coy faces other, perhaps bigger problems ahead associated with her gender identity. The parents seem ready to continue to steadfastly support her as she matures.
Is It Any Good?
This documentary serves as an informative and sensitive introduction to the difficulties parents of trans kids face as they seek to protect those kids from intolerance and discrimination. Director Eric Juhola skillfully maps out Kathryn and Jeremy's struggles to sense and respond to Coy's gender differences and support her in her early childhood insistence that she was a girl and not the boy whose genitals she was born with. As Growing Up Coy was completed in 2016, at least 16 states were introducing anti-transgender rights legislation, so although the Colorado ruling supported trans rights, many other parents and trans children still face such challenges across the country. The work of both director Juhola and the Mathises serves to raise awareness about those challenges.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about what it means to be different. What is the right thing to do when we encounter people who seem different from ourselves? Is "different" the same thing as "bad"? How did Growing Up Coy affect your opinion?
Coy's parents say that she demonstrated to them as early as age 18 months that she preferred girls' clothes and playing with girls' things. What do you think it means to be a "boy" or a "girl"? Do you think there's more to how humans identify their gender than their genitals or the way they look?
Do you think society should be required to accommodate differences so that people can be treated fairly? Or do you think that society has no obligations to look out for people who don't conform to established "norms"? Why?
Movie Details
- On DVD or streaming: June 16, 2017
- Director: Eric Juhola
- Studio: Netflix
- Genre: Documentary
- Character Strengths: Compassion, Courage
- Run time: 83 minutes
- MPAA rating: PG
- Last updated: March 2, 2022
Did we miss something on diversity?
Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.
Suggest an Update
Where to Watch
Our Editors Recommend
Movies with LGBTQ+ Characters
TV Shows with LGBTQ+ Characters
Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.
See how we rate