How Do You Know

Movie review by S. Jhoanna Robledo, Common Sense Media
How Do You Know Poster Image

Common Sense says

age 14+

Complex romcom is sweet, if not a home run.

PG-13 2010 113 minutes
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Parents say

age 12+

Based on 13 reviews

Kids say

age 12+

Based on 14 reviews

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A Lot or a Little?

The parents' guide to what's in this movie.

What Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that this sweet (if not amazing) romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, and Owen Wilson centers on characters in the grip of identity crises -- a topic that may be a little too thorny for young teens to enjoy or really identify with. Nevertheless, it has an appealing message about allowing yourself to be flawed and confused and being kind to yourself so that you can figure out a way out of your dilemmas. There's a bit of swearing (including "s--t" and "f--k"), some characters drink to excess, and there are a few fairly sexy scenes (implied sex, some moans and groans, discussion of playing the field, cleavage, etc.). The movie was initially rated R but received a PG-13 on appeal.

Community Reviews

angeliaderrick
angeliaderrick Adult
July 20, 2021
age 10+

What Happens When You Meet Your Love on The Worst Day of Your Life

I think this is a sweet movie with a really interesting question: What happens when you meet your love on the worst day of your life? Our two leads are currently going through the worst times in their life, Lisa, has been cut from the Olympic softball team, and George, is facing federal charges for something that though he didn't do he would be found responsible for because he trusted the wrong person, his father (Jack Nicholson). Reese and Paul do a charming and sensitive job showing each character's devastation as everything they know is going to be changed without them choosing the change. How do you handle a bad life change forced on you in those first few days? They have a blind date on the day Lisa is cut from the team and both snipe at each other before agreeing to be completely silent. George quickly becomes infatuated with Lisa and her allowing him to just be in the moment. Lisa finds him silly, but not too interested at first as she is in a casual relationship with another ball player (Owen Wilson) who has decided she is the one to stop being a player (romantic player) with and settle down. I love how Lisa is constantly analyzing everything as she is basically trying to keep a float as her number one love (softball) is taken away from her. I heavily relate to her self-analysis and trying to make the best of a situation that you know isn't right for you.

This title has:

Great messages
Great role models
Gabriel Mohler
Gabriel Mohler Adult
March 21, 2015
age 15+

Incredibly stupid

Premarital sex is prominent even though there's only one, barely graphic sex scene. Not even clever. The father-son issue leaves you hanging.

This title has:

Too much sex
See all 13 parent reviews

What's the Story?

Professional athlete Lisa (Reese Witherspoon) is about to turn 31, and though she's still a fine softball player, her coach cuts her from the national team because he thinks she can't keep up. The self-help notes filled with uplifting messages that she sticks to the mirror aren't helping, and a fling with a professional baseball player, Matty (Owen Wilson), isn't quite sitting well, either. Into the fray jumps George (Paul Rudd), whose own life is falling to pieces, too. His father (Jack Nicholson), whom he works for, has been less-than-law-abiding in his business affairs, and now George may wind up in jail. Can they all find the way to the answers they need?

Is It Any Good?

This movie is fairly entertaining, if a little remote. Writer-director James L. Brooks, who's responsible for such unforgettable films as Terms of Endearment and Broadcast News, has a way of spinning a spider web of charm and complexity in his romantic comedies. The ensuing entanglements are always appealing, and though the endings may be somewhat foreseeable, the journey is most of the point. Here he trains his talents on questions of exactitude: How do you know if you're making the right choice in a partner, job, and, well, life?

Classic Brooks dilemmas these may be, but HOW DO YOU KNOW unfortunately isn't his finest film. As much as we care about the characters -- all perfectly cast, it has to be said, especially Wilson -- we just don't care so much about how they come up with the answers they're looking for. A plotline that echoes the Bernie Madoff scandal feels like it's trying too hard, and though it's typical of a Brooks production to have a large ensemble, this one feels too crowded. There are many wonderful moments, especially between Witherspoon and Wilson, but in the end, we're not compelled to invest in Lisa's decisions -- or in anyone else's, for that matter.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about the movie's messages. What is it saying about figuring out who you are and what you want? Does it explore these ideas in an unusual way? Teens: Can you relate to what the characters are going through?

  • How do you think being cut from the team affected Lisa? Why? Teens: Have you ever gone through anything similar?

  • What is the appeal of romantic comedies? Although they tend to follow the same predictable formula, they remain popular. Why do you think that is?

  • What messages do romantic comedies send about love and relationships? Are these messages healthy or realistic for teens, who are just starting to navigate their own romantic relationships?

Movie Details

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