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Love Me Instead
By Barbara Shulgasser-Parker,
Common Sense Media Reviewer
Common Sense Media Reviewers
Fathers risk everything for kids; violence, language.

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What you will—and won't—find in this movie.
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Love Me Instead
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Based on 1 parent review
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What's the Story?
LOVE ME INSTEAD tells the story of two decent men intersecting by chance, both risking everything in the name of protecting their wayward kids. Musa (Sarp Akkaya) has been in prison for 15 years. Although he was arrested and convicted seemingly for domestic abuse, it's clear that he has become a gentler man now. On the news of the death of his wife, the prison allows him two days of humane release to visit the daughter (Aleyna Ozgecen) he hasn't seen since she was a baby. Sedat (Ercan Kesal) is an equally good man, the prison guard only days from retirement when assigned to chaperone Musa. He has troubles of his own, revealed slowly as the story is told from his police interrogation backward. In flashback we learn something went wrong during Musa's visit. Musa's family lives in a small town dominated by a violent drug and prostitution ring and the gang members play a role in a bloody outcome.
Is It Any Good?
Love Me Instead is an understated, slow, thoughtful drama with heart and a meandering structure that all the way through telegraphs tragedy and redemption ahead. Akkaya, Kesal, and Ozgecen give strong performances in support of the premise that family members may let us down, but we can choose and create families to sustain us. The movie feels overly long at 124 minutes, partly owing to some confusing turns of events. Without exposing spoilers, it's fair to question many iffy premises. Would a seasoned professional abandon his responsibilities to help someone do something terrible? Would a young person agree to play act in a real-life drama? Somehow the movie gets past these stumbles for a dignified and touching ending.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about how Musa found himself married to someone he didn't like. What do you think of him when he admits that although he was in love with one woman, he got drunk and had sex with another?
What does the movie tell us about how kids are affected by the circumstances of their upbringing?
The end is both tragic and uplifting. Does it make sense that a father takes irrational steps? Why or why not?
Movie Details
- On DVD or streaming: November 19, 2021
- Cast: Sarp Akkaya , Ercan Kesal , Aleyna Ozgecen , Songul Oden
- Director: Mehmet Ada Oztekin
- Inclusion Information: Middle Eastern/North African actors
- Studio: Netflix
- Genre: Drama
- Run time: 124 minutes
- MPAA rating: NR
- Last updated: February 17, 2023
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