OFF 12-; IFFY 13-14; ON 15+
my tagline: NO MOTIVATION. NO MORALS. THEIR MALL. THEY ARE "MALLRATS." Mallrats is a cult classic that I decided to give a glancing chance...and boy, am I glad I did! Dreamcatcher showed me Jason Lee was capable of much more than what he'd done in Alvin and the Chipmunks. Unfortunately, though, he wasn't able to save either movie. Dogma was a breath of fresh air after both. And this is Lee at his best, with many, many, MANY laugh out loud moments from the entire cast. Jason Lee actually delivers, in my opinion, the funniest line in the entire film. And it's actually the very first line in the movie! "One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his *ss. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, 'Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your *ss too. Why don't you knock it off?' And he said to me, 'Brodie, how the h*ll else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?' My cousin was a weird guy." It's never mentioned again, it doesn't further the story(It'd be weird if it did, though, wouldn't it?), it's so random, and it makes no sense!...And it's hilarious. Some of my highlights of the film were the scenes with Stan Lee and the Game Show scene. Excellence! It's hilarious! I know I'm being real repetitive and unspecific, but...nyeh. pOSITIVE pIECES: "Don't give up on something you can't go a day without." I forgot who said that, it's not in the movie, but it's a constant theme in the film. Both Brodie(Lee) and T.S.(London) have suffered a recent breakup with each others girlfriends, and they both have to learn to stop b*tching and moaning and do something about it. Brodie has to come to grips with the fact that he has feelings for Rene that are more than just mindless sex, and then tries to do everything in his power to prove to her that he cares for her and is not just saying "sorry" without meaning it. Brodie is also constantly trying to get T.S. to cheer up and get over Brandi, and upon realizing that she's the real deal to him, he encourages him to do something about it(even if his ideas aren't as great as the advice). Both guys(boys, men, how old are they supposed to be, again?) need to realize they can't go down without a fight and take action. vIOLENT vEIL: Some fist fights ensue, none of which have any blood. Many a man gets a cheap shot to the crotch, and one woman gets an accidental elbow to the boob. Also, a man is hit on the head with a metal bat. nYEH nONSENSE (oR sEXUAL sTUFF): Sexual dialogue is pervasive and constant...which is kinda what pervasive means...sooo...yeah. Well, anyways, there's a lot of it. It absolutely COATS the script. But sexual dialogue is the LEAST of your problems. A couple has sex in an elavator(no nudity), and two people are shown having sex on tape(they're naked but no nudity is show). Breasts are shown 2 or 3 times, one of which is drawn out to at least 5 minutes. Sex is also hinted at and given the alias "making 'whoopie'." Gay jokes and other sexual jokes are also common. Make out scenes, and a brief scene of a man's butt. Also, underage sex is discussed and shown. oBSCENITIES aND oBSCENE pROFANITIES: Over 50 uses of the F Bomb(often in sexual terms) and other unnecessary curses are not shied upon. dRUG dANGERS: Silent Bob tries to levitate a cigarette throughout the entire film, Crack is smoked, but I don't think it's on screen. They also talk about various drugs, their uses, and the times they've used them. nEGATIVE nUDGES: I've already mentioned the underage sex and drugs, the obvious stuff, but police also falsely accuse two men, destroying public property is looked at as just another chore, a father plots to keep his daughter from marrying a boy he dislikes, characters, more often than not, act selfishly and lustfully, and often, as Brodie puts it, "talk out of their *ss." nEGATIVE rOLE mODELS: It is also worth mentioning that the protagonists, or "heroes", break the law, are c*ck hounds, are idiots, usually don't think about how their actions will affect others, and are just not nice. All-In-All: I love this movie. It's hilarious and wrong in all the right ways. One of the really great things, the reason so many people love this movie, is because of how REALISTIC these characters are. They seem like real people! They talk like real people, act like real people(a bit extreme), think like real people, and, most of all, FEEL like real people. And that's just awesome and something you don't see in even the greatest of movies. In the Greats of movies, they're usually drama or action, so they usually act a certain way to make the plot better, they bend to the movie's plot and story. Here, the plot and story bend to the characters actions and thoughts. It's a nice change. And even though it's not nice, it's an excellent movie.
What other families should know
Too much sex
Too much swearing
Too much drinking/drugs/smoking
Great role models