Maneater

If you want to know just how bad this bloody, cheap-looking, overly talky shark-attack movie really is, here's a clue: It borrows an idea from Jaws: The Revenge, another abysmally bad shark movie. Maneater seems somehow to have been inspired by the eye-rolling story of that infamous 1980s flop -- i.e., that a cold water shark would somehow find its way to warm waters, not for food, but just to kill. (For the record, Maneater also undeservingly paraphrases a famous line from the 1975 original.) Aside from a flashback showing the first gory killing, this movie takes a while to get going, spending long moments on awkward, time-killing dialogue, all of which sounds like elevator small talk.

Even though the friends came to "party" (whoo!), their partying consists of quietly sitting in circles, sipping drinks, and chatting. Not even a likable actor like Shane West can do much with this stuff. When the attacks finally start coming, close-ups of the shark don't seem to match shots of the humans, and the digital effects are so bad that they appear unfinished. Maneater tries to make up for these shortcomings with scene after scene of gallons of blood swirling in the water. But the attacks also lack suspense, occurring quickly -- sometimes one on top of another -- with no buildup. And they're just dumb. Not one, but two characters are killed because they get tangled in lengths of rope! If shark fans are going to scrape the bottom of the chum bucket, even Sharknado 3 is a better choice than this.