Primates of the Seven Seas

Movie review by
Tracy Moore, Common Sense Media
Primates of the Seven Seas Movie Poster Image
Offbeat primate adventure big on lasers, guns, explosions.
  • NR
  • 2013
  • 72 minutes

Parents say

age 9+
Based on 1 review

Kids say

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A lot or a little?

The parents' guide to what's in this movie.

Educational Value

Meant to entertain rather than educate.

Positive Messages

Primates of the Seven Seas offers positive messages about friendship, loyalty, teamwork, and the redemptive power of love.

Positive Role Models & Representations

Characters are simple -- rowdy pirates, tough generals -- but sometimes have occasional unexpected depth added.

Violence & Scariness

The film contains sustained peril and cartoonish violence, in particular multiple scenes with guns, lasers, tazers, characters getting hit over the head or tossed around. There are a few sustained sequences of domino-effect slapstick violence. No injuries are explicit or involve bloodshed. A few monster characters are scary -- a giant sea slug, a giant robot monkey casino -- but are also portrayed with a deflating humor (sometimes literally).

Sexy Stuff

Some characters wear bikinis and have breasts. In one scene, a male character looks a female character up and down to suggest he's checking her out. A few characters kiss briefly, and a major plot driver is the main character's affections for a girl he secretly loves. Two characters are portrayed as battling for her affections.

Drinking, Drugs & Smoking

A line of glasses on a bar are shown being filled for everyone to drink. A character drinks a glass of green liquid, implied to be a cocktail, at a show. Much of the plot derives from the presence of a casino that serves alcohol.

What parents need to know

Parents need to know that Primates of the Seven Seas is not suitable for very young kids as it uses a sustained peril and cartoonish violence throughout that involves firearms, lasers, cannonballs, and fighting (and is set in a casino). Though it does so with an often silly, offbeat approach that frequently renders that violence more absurd than menacing, it's a nuance likely lost on younger viewers. Plus, the film's main foe -- a giant robot -- is a little scary.

User Reviews

  • Parents say
  • Kids say
Adult Written byChad P. May 3, 2017


Not a bad pick for your family

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What's the story?

When a loyal beach cop discovers a plot to take over the island involving a casino shaped like a monkey (who's actually a robot), no one believes him -- they're having too much fun. Now out of a job, he finds himself on a pirate crew planning an action-packed rescue, if they can just figure out how to stop a monkey casino robot.

Is it any good?

PRIMATES OF THE SEVEN SEAS is nonstop, action-packed absurd silliness. It looks like a video game, sometimes recalls the shape-shifting robot action of Transformers, with a robot that evokes Futurama. Underneath it is a story of a well-meaning beach cop monkey just trying to win over the monkey girl of his dreams, if he can just save the entire island first.

This is a fun movie that pulls off what it aims better than it has any right to, and for kids who are seasoned enough for the brisk pacing and big booms, there are some sweet moments and an amusing setup. Parents may want to hold off on this film until kids are old enough to get the goofy humor and the sly twists that sometimes appear to be mocking typical monster tropes, because otherwise, Doug the Sea Slug and the giant robot monkey casino are the stuff of nightmares.

Talk to your kids about ...

  • Families can talk about loyalty. Can you still be a loyal friend even after you're told your help is not needed? How could you do that?

  • The pirates in the film are sad that they are portrayed as tough when they really want love. Can you think of groups of people who are misunderstood? Who are they? How do people see them, and what are they really like?

  • Have you ever tried to tell someone something important but they didn't believe you? What happened? How did it feel? Was it ever resolved?

Movie details

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