Parents' Guide to Secretary

Movie R 2002 107 minutes
Secretary movie poster: Maggie Gyllenhaal crawls with envelope in mouth

Common Sense Media Review

Barbara Shulgasser-Parker By Barbara Shulgasser-Parker , based on child development research. How do we rate?

age 17+

Erotic romance set at workplace; sex, violence, language.

Parents Need to Know

Why Age 17+?

Any Positive Content?

Parent and Kid Reviews

age 17+

Based on 1 parent review

What's the Story?

In SECRETARY, Lee (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is a troubled young woman. Shy and vulnerable, she cuts herself regularly at the first sign of discomfort. When she leaves the live-in therapy facility she's been in, she moves in with overbearing parents who treat her like a child. Her only skill is fast typing, and attorney Edward Grey (James Spader) hires her, almost as a curiosity. He's a meticulous, hypersensitive man with no social skills, whispering his curt demands, remaining unreachable, and odd. Given his distant manner, he asks surprisingly prying questions ("Did you have sex?"). He notices Lee's self-harm and is seemingly aroused by it, and also by her cluelessness and need to please him. In demonstration of partial domination and partial kindness, he tells her to stop cutting herself and she simply stops, to please him. In no time, he's testing how far he can go with her, humiliating her for typos and setting up a domination role to her eager submission. Both try to work out their respective problems and find solutions in each other.

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say ( 1 ):
Kids say : Not yet rated

This film treats the subject of submission and domination with great seriousness but also with a comic whiff that slyly questions what society accepts as normal. If the couple living happily down the street in a quiet suburban neighborhood is playing bondage games to promote their happiness without hurting anyone else, the movie asks, what's the harm?

The movie embodies the notion that a person who feels out of place in the world can bloom under the encouragement of one special, uniquely compatible person. Perhaps the most moving moment is when Edward, trying to control his seemingly uncontrollable inclinations, says he doesn't want his self-described "disgusting" behavior to be fed and egged on by Lee 24/7. Lee asks, "Why not?" That is a question, it seems, he'd never been asked before. The movie has a fairy tale ending that may not be for everyone, but it certainly suggests that Lee and Edward live happily ever after.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about the film's message—that if a seemingly "deviant" person can find a compatible partner, they can have a happy and fulfilling relationship. What do you think about this?

  • In what ways does the movie suggest that "normal" cannot be codified? How does the movie view abnormal behaviors?

  • How do you define "normal"?

  • Is this movie still relevant, or does it feel dated in a post-#MeToo movement time?

Movie Details

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Secretary movie poster: Maggie Gyllenhaal crawls with envelope in mouth

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