sex, lies and videotape
Talky '80s drama has sex, cursing, mature themes.
sex, lies and videotape
Did we miss something on diversity?
Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.
Suggest an Update
A Lot or a Little?
The parents' guide to what's in this movie.
What Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that sex, lies and videotape is a 1989 drama. The subject of this movie is sex, intimacy, and honesty, but mostly it's about the power of conversation. Masturbation is discussed, although not in graphic detail. A married man has an affair with his wife's sister. An impotent man asks women to talk about their sexual lives on tape so he can play them later and become aroused. No nudity and sex are shown but frank discussions make this fare only for especially mature older teens, most of whom will probably find the talkiness boring anyway. Expect to hear "f--k," "s--t," and more.
Report this review
What's the Story?
In SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE, John (Peter Gallagher) is a rising young attorney in his 30s, having an affair with his wife's sister. John's wife, Ann (Andie Macdowell), has no interest in sex with John. After many years away, John's college friend, Graham (James Spader), returns to town a changed man. He reveals to Ann that he's impotent and that he can only achieve orgasm while alone, watching videotapes he's made of women talking about their sexual experiences. Ann is fascinated by Graham's quiet forthrightness. Suddenly her interest is aroused in all senses of the word. As she and Graham become closer, her sister volunteers to be videotaped. This enrages Ann and also John. When Ann learns that John is betraying her, she volunteers to be taped by Graham, which apparently frees Ann from her naivete about her marriage and her role in the world.
Is It Any Good?
This is a thoughtful movie about the challenge that true intimacy poses, but it's unlikely to interest teens. The movie has a pensive and cerebral quality rather than a pornographic one. Its freshness announced the directing career of the 26-year-old Steven Soderbergh as an artist interested in the twisted motivations of real, ordinary people. He suggests that the brain is the most vivid of human erogenous zones. If some scenes ramble on a bit too long or moments of improvisation between the talented young actors seem strained, the weaknesses are forgivable set against the courageousness and intelligence with which the director handles such tricky material. Not to mention that he wrote the script in only eight days.
The most brutally honest and self-aware character in sex, lies and videotape is played by a soft-spoken James Spader, who won the best actor award at the Cannes Film Festival for his work. His non-aggressive affect sits on the opposite extreme from the sexually predatory John, played by Peter Gallagher with a dollop of 1980s boom-time self-satisfaction. Perhaps the director's youth inevitably resulted in the work sometimes substituting honesty for depth, but the film is no less interesting for the flaws.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about the foundations of a healthy relationship and whether those are present in sex, lies and videotape. Can a marriage survive if it's built on lies?
Do you think sexual attraction is enough to sustain a relationship? Why or why not?
The movie suggests that speaking the truth, even if it reveals inner weaknesses, can create strong bonds between people. Can you think of examples of this in your own life?
- In theaters: September 27, 1989
- On DVD or streaming: November 17, 2009
- Cast: James Spader, Andie MacDowell, Peter Gallagher, Laura San Giacomo
- Director: Steven Soderbergh
- Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
- Genre: Drama
- Run time: 100 minutes
- MPAA rating: R
- Last updated: March 30, 2022
Our Editors Recommend
Legal drama based on a true story has lots of cursing.
Tons of drug use, violence, and depressing stories.
Fun heist movie for older kids and their families.
For kids who love dramas
Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.See how we rate