Status Update

This teen comedy with a "be yourself" message is slickly artificial, grinding painfully through extremely well-worn plot mechanics and essentially failing to follow its own message. With its amped-up performances and overwritten characters (it's kind of like they're all attention-starved puppy dogs), Status Update instantly smacks of an after-school special or other low-budget fare. Moreover, the movie insists on having its characters look and sound like stereotypes: The main character has long, blonde "surfer-dude" hair; the nerdy best friend is overweight; and the gay character is a fashionista. Oh, and non-white characters exist only on the sidelines.

In fact, no one here resembles an actual human being that viewers might know or spend time with. The storyline has been done a million times before, and not much flair or cleverness has gone into updating it for the mobile age. Status Update runs through all the familiar twists with as little effort as possible, including all the old "be careful what you wish for" clichés. For example, when Kyle tries out for the hockey team, his magic post says that he "skated like a pro." So he proceeds to perform a figure-skating program in front of the team. (This is arguably the movie's best joke.) Perhaps the most difficult parts to get through, however, are the musical numbers. Too bad this movie can't be wished away.