The Lost Daughter

The Lost Daughter
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A Lot or a Little?
The parents' guide to what's in this movie.
What Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that The Lost Daughter is a drama about a mother's choices starring Oliva Colman and Dakota Johnson. Adapted and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal from Elena Ferrante's same-named novel, it challenges the idea that all women are fulfilled by having children. Parents (especially moms) may relate to and appreciate the movie's painfully real parenting moments, including endlessly crying and clingy kids and a mother's desire to maintain her own identity. But kids, particularly young ones, are largely depicted as a burden with little reward, making this an iffy choice for family viewing. Expect explicit sexual conversations and passionate sex scenes, some including partial nudity (breast, bottom). Strong language throughout includes "f--k," "c--k," "c--t," and more. Adult characters drink, argue, and lash out at each other, and there's an abrupt (but not graphic) stabbing.
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What's the Story?
In THE LOST DAUGHTER, a professor named Leda (Oliva Colman) is taking a working vacation on a small Greek island. Her peaceful respite is disrupted by a large, brash family visiting from New York. As she forges a connection wtih young mother Nina (Dakota Johnson), Leda is haunted by painful memories from her past.
Is It Any Good?
This female-driven drama reflects a reality that may feel far-too familiar for many parents: Having kids is draining, and sometimes moms may dream of throwing in the towel. And while Maggie Gyllenhaal makes an impressive directing debut, The Lost Daughter isn't a movie to watch with your kids -- even teens. Through Leda's cold, annoyed gaze as the obnoxious new arrivals interrupt her seaside solace, we similarly fixate on Nina and her adorable daughter. Nina and her preschooler frolic on the beach, seemingly embodying the dream/myth sold to many women about what motherhood is like. But as the days turn into weeks, Leda observes the reality: Nina is overwhelmed, feeling saddled by her little one's constant need for attention and smothered by obligation. Nina's experiences trigger Leda's own ghosts, and it's clear that she's hiding a secret.
As we dig deeper into Leda's past (Jessie Buckley plays her in the 1990s-set flashbacks), the movie doesn't just take the shine off the parenting apple: You're left feeling like the whole idealistic concept is a bit rotten. The romanticism of marriage is also under the microscope here, with Gyllenhaal giving that side of things more time than Leda's relationship with her own mother and now-adult daughters (which feels like a miss). Leda doesn't understand her own behavior, but the viewers need to -- and the symbolism is cloudier without the clearer context provided by Elena Ferrante's source novel. Daughters, mothers, daughters, husbands, sons -- we're all left a little lost.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about how The Lost Daughter depicts parenthood. Teens: Does it make you more or less interested in having kids someday? Why? Who is "the lost daughter"?
What do you want for yourself in life? How can figuring that out early help you maintain your identify and happiness?
What do you think the doll represents? Why is it taken?
Do you consider any of the characters to be role models? Why, or why not?
Movie Details
- In theaters: December 17, 2021
- On DVD or streaming: December 31, 2021
- Cast: Olivia Colman, Dakota Johnson, Jessie Buckley
- Director: Maggie Gyllenhaal
- Studio: Netflix
- Genre: Drama
- Topics: Book Characters
- Run time: 121 minutes
- MPAA rating: R
- MPAA explanation: sexual content/nudity and language
- Last updated: April 2, 2022
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