Parents' Guide to The Miracle Match

Unfortunately, like so much in this patina-covered film, The Miracle Match lays on the patriotism thick and heavy, smothering it. The whole thing is designed to make you cry with sentiment. Instead, it becomes schlocky fast. There's the patriotism. There's the ad-naseum speeches about the virtues of the game. ("It's the most democratic of games," intones Patrick Stewart as Dent McSkimming. "It's the people's game. It's your people's game.") There are the repeated lectures to believe in themselves. While the movie beats you over the head with these ideologies, it simultaneously sucks the life out of the film and makes it just about the game instead of about the guys who played it.

It doesn't help that the script makes no pretense of tension about whether the guys will make the World Cup team. There are cursory conflicts -- Frank is set to be married the week of the tournament, and another player is scared of flying -- but those are resolved quickly, and so most of the film feels like the pre-game show until the big match. Without that tension, there's no point in watching to the end -- which is a shame, because that's where The Miracle Match gets it really right. The final game is a doozy -- well-paced and fabulously filmed, with a surprise cameo by Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale. And when at the end the real-life players appear, a la A League of Their Own, darn if viewers won't find themselves shedding a tear or two. But the poor writing and character development make this a film only for die-hard soccer fans who want to know about the history of the game in the U.S.