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The New Adventures of Aladin
A lot or a little?
The parents' guide to what's in this movie.
What parents need to know
Parents need to know that The New Adventures of Aladdin is a 2015 movie about a slacker dressed as Santa in the mall retelling the story of Aladdin to a roomful of young kids. It's French with English overdubs. A magician is essentially the kind of gay male stereotype that hasn't been seen in media in decades. A eunuch is named "Cameltoe" and speaks in a high-pitched voice. The antagonist is given the oft-repeated nickname "Floppydick" after the magician casts a spell making the antagonist incapable of making love with the beautiful princess. Said beautiful princess asks her maiden about her "first time" and later stomps into a climactic scene in a revealing garment in which one breast is exposed not to the audience, but to an elderly man, who informs her, "You have one [breast] hanging out." A one-liner references ejaculation. A character speaks of having "boned the servant." The newly freed genie is eager to have sex again, brags openly of several ladies he has brought home, and says, upon seeing the princess, "Now that's a brunette with some curves!" There's also some pratfall violence, including a scene in which the lead character is catapulted and lands with mere inches separating his groin from a sharp spire. A character is decapitated with a sword, and his head is shown flying into the air and landing. There is nothing worthwhile about this raunchy movie.
What's the story?
On Christmas Eve, Sam continues lying to his wife that he's a stockbroker, when in reality he's working as a Santa Claus at the mall with his friend Khaled in THE NEW ADVENTURES OF ALADIN. Low on money, they plan to steal whatever they can from the mall, but their plans are derailed when Sam is dragged into a room and asked to tell a story to the young children seated all around him. So in response, Sam concocts an on-the-fly retelling of Aladdin, casting those in his real life as the major characters and taking suggestions from the kids. The result is a somewhat raunchy tale of a horny genie, a gay magician, a eunuch named "Cameltoe," and an antagonist who gets the nickname "Floppydick" after a spell-induced bout of erectile dysfunction. The kids love the story, but when Sam's wife goes to the mall and sees that Sam isn't a stockbroker after all, Sam must, through the help of his new young friends gathered around him, prove that he's still a good person.
Is it any good?
This movie is inexplicably raunchier than an ostensibly holiday-themed children's movie ought to be. Perhaps the Aladdin retelling would have worked without the Christmas story of redemption bookending it, but even that's a big perhaps. It almost seems as if the Christmas aspect was deliberately tacked on to appeal to a wider audience. Regardless, despite what might be lost in translation (this is a French movie with English subtitles), the image of a young adult dressed as Santa retelling the story of Aladdin to now encompass a horny genie, a stereotypically gay magician, an antagonist given the unfortunate nickname "Floppydick," and a whole slew of iffy-humored references to sex is disturbing.
As holiday fare, The New Adventures of Aladin is cheap, forced, and contrived. As a retelling of a classic story for more modern audiences, it's excruciating. And with the two combined, the result is an uncomfortable, unwatchable mess of epically bad proportions.
Talk to your kids about ...
Families can talk about the plot of The New Adventures of Aladdin. Do you think it's supposed to be funny? Does it make sense?
A story about Aladdin would seem to be intended for kids, but who do you think is the best audience for this movie?
How did this movie attempt to find humor in stereotypes? Why is it wrong and possibly offensive to stereotype?
Themes & Topics
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