The Parts You Lose

Movie review by
Joyce Slaton, Common Sense Media
The Parts You Lose Movie Poster Image
Bullying and abuse in bleak, wintry character study.
  • NR
  • 2019
  • 93 minutes

Parents say

age 14+
Based on 3 reviews

Kids say

No reviews yetAdd your rating

Did this review miss something on diversity?

Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive, diverse representations in books, TV shows, and movies. Want to help us help them? Suggest a diversity update

A lot or a little?

The parents' guide to what's in this movie.

Positive Messages

Themes are mature and nuanced; don't expect young viewers to glean positive messages from this film. Some are mixed or actually negative, such as: Respect is best won through force, and being tough on kids makes them tough, too. 

Positive Role Models & Representations

Wesley has a disability that hampers his connections with others, but movie doesn't view him as lesser than, and he grows more confident over the course of the story. But he's a target for bullies, including a boy who wipes mucus in his hair until Wesley learns to combat him. Ronnie is a volatile figure: He tries to be kind to his son but often lashes out in emotional or physical abuse. Gail seems beaten down by life; she encourages her son to express affection to his dad, talks to Wesley in sign language rather than insisting he can actually hear. 


Violence is more implied than shown: Characters talk about a mass murder that happened during a robbery, and viewers see police, police cars but no blood or injured people. A character brandishes a gun but doesn't fire it. In one scene, SWAT officers confront a suspect in his hiding place; viewers hear a machine gun shot and assume the suspect has been killed, but it's not shown. A child is bullied by classmates who throw snowballs at him, call him names, wipe mucus in his hair. His father is also abusive, raises his voice at home and presumably hits his son (bruises shown, but not hits themselves).


Wesley and his fellow special needs classmates are called "retard" several times during the movie. In other scenes, adults swear: "Eat s--t," "goddammit," "dammit," "f--king," "for Christ's sake." 

Drinking, Drugs & Smoking

One scene takes place in a bar, and characters talk frequently about the bar, mentioning it as a hangout. A character sits alone drinking beer, then is seen in the hospital after a car accident (presumably affected by drinking).

What parents need to know

Parents need to know that The Parts You Lose is a movie about a young deaf boy (Danny Murphy) whose life changes after he harbors a fleeing fugitive (Aaron Paul). Violence is mostly implied, with everything from a mass murder to parental abuse of a child taking place off-screen. Viewers see peripheral visuals connected with these events: police cars and officers, bruises on a child's face, etc. A character has a gun, but he never fires it; someone is presumably killed by police officers, yet we only hear gunfire and see police standing outside a house. The boy is a target for bullies at school, who call him names (including "retard"), throw snowballs at his bus, and routinely smear mucus in his hair (which causes an adult to advise the boy to hit his bully with a coin-filled thermos in a backpack). Language is infrequent but includes "s--t," "f--king," "dammit," and more. A bar is a frequent hangout; in one scene, a character drinks beer morosely alone there and then gets into a car accident. Authority figures are unpredictable: Some are kind and supportive, others are somewhere on the spectrum from disinterested to cruel. A father refuses to speak sign language to his son, denying that he's deaf; the boy's mother uses ASL to communicate, though, and he's taught in this language at school. The movie's overall tone is so dark and bleak that it's best for mature teens and adults. 

User Reviews

  • Parents say
  • Kids say
Adult Written byJoshCulver34 October 7, 2019
Adult Written bywinschri5 October 7, 2019

There aren't any reviews yet. Be the first to review this title.

What's the story?

THE PARTS YOU LOSE is set in wintry North Dakota, where Wesley (Danny Murphy) lives a solemn, silent life, a target both at home and at school due to his deafness. His volatile dad, Ronnie (Scoot McNairy), wants to toughen him up and insists that Wesley isn't really deaf; his mom, Gail (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), sneaks around to talk to her son in sign language and tries to stay out of her husband's way. But when Wesley finds a strange man (Aaron Paul) bleeding on the road after a robbery gone wrong, the boy shelters the man in a barn near his house and strikes up a curious kind of friendship with him as he recovers. As police circle in on the fugitive, Wesley knows he'll have to make a choice between his friend and the rest of the world. 

Is it any good?

The tone is as dark as the cinematography in this downbeat fable of a boy desperately in need of a friend -- both are bleakly beautiful, but this far from a feel-good movie. Wesley's life is lived in vignettes that range from stark to agonizing: the trip to school on the special-needs bus that the other boys throw snowballs at, fraught dinners with his seething dad and helpless mom in a house that's as dim as a photography development room, the daily indignity of a fellow student who wipes mucus in Wesley's hair to peals of laughter from the rest of the cafeteria.

Against such a desolate background, the arrival of Paul's wounded criminal seems like a good thing. The guy teaches Wesley some fancy checkers moves and gives him advice on vanquishing his bullies. Really, he treats the kid like he's worth something, in contrast to Wesley's own perpetually disappointed dad. The audience knows that The Parts You Lose's whole setup won't lead anywhere good, and they're right -- but it's clear that Wesley's confidence is in better shape after he helps his new friend and that a new spring in his step isn't the only thing the relationship left him with. If a frosty, deliberate character study is the fare you favor, you could do worse than this beautiful bummer of a movie. 

Talk to your kids about ...

  • Families can talk about The Parts You Lose's violence, which is largely implied and takes place off-screen. How does the lack of gore affect how you feel about what you see? What's the impact of media violence on kids?

  • What kind of movie is this? A drama? A thriller? How can you tell? How does a movie communicate what emotions it hopes to inspire in viewers? What sounds or visuals provide viewers with clues about how to feel? 

  • How might this movie change if the setting changed? If it were set in a big city, would Wesley's harboring of a criminal have gone so unnoticed? Would there be a place to hide someone? What about if it were set in a brightly lit, summery location? Would the mood be as stark and downbeat? How does setting contribute to a movie's overall tone? 

  • How is bullying portrayed here? What impact does it have on the characters involved?

  • What role does Wesley's deafness play in the film? How does it compare to other portrayals of disability you've seen in movies or on TV?

Movie details

Our editors recommend

For kids who love dramas

Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.

See how we rate

Streaming options powered by JustWatch

About these links

Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization, earns a small affiliate fee from Amazon or iTunes when you use our links to make a purchase. Thank you for your support.

Read more

Our ratings are based on child development best practices. We display the minimum age for which content is developmentally appropriate. The star rating reflects overall quality.

Learn how we rate