Parents' Guide to The Weapon

Incoherent, abysmally acted, and bafflingly edited, this generic action movie is frustrating on many levels. But its cynicism --both toward its characters and the viewers -- is the worst thing about it. A directorial debut by its star, Schiena, The Weapon is so bad that it's almost impossible to even describe the plot. The first 20 minutes are a rhythmless muddle, cutting between sequences with Dallas beating up everyone in sight and scenes in which he's tied to a chair and beaten. Are these flashbacks? Is it some kind of montage? There's no answer. It's also difficult to know who anyone is. Characters just show up, and we have no idea what they're up to or what their relationship with anyone is. The acting is uniformly amateurish, except for pros like Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeff Fahey, and Bruce Dern, who appear in one scene each, for only a few minutes. And characters are irritatingly unintelligent, walking right into death traps that viewers will likely see coming a mile away. The film's ending demonstrates the callousness of it all, making it as close to worthless as a movie can possibly get.