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Parents' Guide to

They/Them

By Brian Costello, Common Sense Media Reviewer

age 16+

Slasher horror set at gay conversion camp; violence.

Movie NR 2022 90 minutes
They/Them Movie Poster

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

Community Reviews

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age 13+

Based on 1 parent review

Al C.
Al C. Parent of 7, 11, 15 and 17-year-old
September 30, 2023
age 13+

A pretty good horror movie!

*Spoilers ahead!* . . I watched this movie with my trans son, who is 11. The sex scenes linger too long in my opinion- we ended up fast-forwarding thru those. We also fast-forwarded thru the “aversion therapy” scene. The ending was definitely a surprise, and the kids of the camp do get a happy ending. Trigger warning for those who are LGBTQIA+ as there are slurs used against the poor children (like dy**), the children are misgendered and a poor trans girl is forced to dress in “boy” clothes. So it can be a bit rough, but like I said these kids DO get a happy ending! . . We especially rooted for the lead character, Jordan, an especially brave kid who I’d say is definitely a positive role model for kids. Honestly the kids at the camp are mostly positive role models, sure some girls smoked a joint and they’re sexually active but that’s hardly the worst. The most important thing is the kids learn to love themselves as they are, or at least they hopefully have started the journey to self acceptance.

This title has:

Great messages
Great role models
Too much violence
Too much sex
See all 1 parent review

What's the Story?

In THEY/THEM, Owen Whistler (Kevin Bacon) is the director at Camp Whistler, a gay conversion camp for teens. He welcomes the newest arrivals, assures them that the camp will be safe and inclusive for all, and then asks the campers to split into separate groups for boys and girls to get their cabin assignments. This is problematic for Jordan (Theo Germaine), who is trans and nonbinary, but that is only the beginning. It doesn't take long to see that Whistler's promises were lies -- as he outs a trans camper named Alexandra, handcuffs the campers into pairs and forces them to spend the night in the woods (where Jordan and Alexandra first see a mysterious figure), and forces the campers to engage in traditional gender roles that grow increasingly disturbing. As Jordan learns more about the horrific past of Camp Whistler, some of the campers plot their escape. Meanwhile, officials in the camp are starting to get murdered. As Whistler's methods, enforced by his therapist wife Cora (Carrie Preston), athletic director Zane, and activities director Amy, become increasingly disturbing and sadistic, a mysterious ax-wielding killer arrives to get revenge.

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say (1 ):
Kids say (4 ):

This is a slasher movie that combines the horror of ax murders with the real horrors of gay conversion camps. They/Them essentially replaces the teen archetypes of '80s horror movies with LGBTQ+ characters either forced to attend or voluntarily attending a camp that purports to be a "safe space" for the campers to discover who they "really" are, with all the talk of "inclusion" being a lie before we learn what's really going on.

Kevin Bacon plays Owen, the camp director, and while it's definitely a nod to his younger association with Friday the 13th, he's also perfect as the "cool and tolerant adult authority figure who's obviously not cool nor tolerant." His therapist wife, Cora, played by Carrie Preston, is perhaps the evilest character in the movie, using her skills as a weapon to negate and humiliate the identities and personalities of these teen characters who are already going through so much. Theo Germaine plays Jordan, a trans nonbinary camper who displays an acting range rarely seen in teen slasher movies, particularly in the scene with Cora. The movie might be too preachy for some, and it skirts dangerously close to self-indulgence that nearly ruins it (the camper singalong to a well-known Pink song is likely to come across as being clichéd). On the whole, though, it knows and even celebrates the conventions of '80s slasher camp movies, and this form is ideally suited to highlight the all-too-real horror of gay conversion camps. The movie's messages of acceptance and remaining true to yourself are relevant and necessary.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about horror movies like They/Them. How is this similar to and different from other slasher movies set in summer camp?

  • What are some of the positive messages about inclusion, acceptance, and self-affirmation?

  • How does the movie use the familiar horror story of teens at a summer camp as a way to make commentary on gay conversion camps?

Movie Details

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