Parents' Guide to Valentine's Day

It's almost a surprise that this mushy ensemble romcom comes from director Garry Marshall. True, Valentine's Day has many of the filmmaker's signature touches, as seen in past works Pretty Woman and The Princess Diaries: the sweetly satisfying moments between new lovers (certainly evident in the Hathaway-Grace pairing), the fluid storytelling, and the sense of humor. But a few perfect moments do not a perfect movie make. Valentine's Day is hyper-engineered to the hilt and ends up feeling packaged and crowded with marquee names and made-for-the-tabloids matchups. Furthermore, the comedy has dulled to a thud in the years since its release, with humor mined from being Black (or "chocolate," as Jamie Foxx calls himself), and White characters crashing an Indian wedding less funny than it might have felt in 2010 when the movie initially came out.

What ultimately makes love such a compelling topic is its mysterious, ineffable quality, and there's none of that jazz-improv magic here. Kutcher and Garner's storyline, though traditional in its unraveling, feels most satisfying. (Marshall makes the most of Kutcher's man-boy charms, and the actor steps up his game.) Hector Elizondo and Shirley MacLaine's tale comes second, but their plot doesn't really have room to unspool. Some picking and pruning would've made for a more stunning bouquet; as it stands, it's all baby's breath and red roses—the expected stuff.