What They Had
Messy, loving family deals with Alzheimer's in mature drama.
Parents say
Based on 1 review
Common Sense is a nonprofit organization. Your purchase helps us remain independent and ad-free.
What They Had
Did we miss something on diversity?
Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.
Suggest an Update
A Lot or a Little?
The parents' guide to what's in this movie.
What Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that What They Had is a poignant drama about a family that's dealing with the very difficult issue of Alzheimer's; it's more focused on characters and life than it is on sickness and misery. It's a beautifully acted, big-hearted, messy hug of a movie for mature viewers. Language is quite strong, with multiple uses of "f--k," "s--t," "a--hole," and more -- sometimes shouted in anger during arguments. A married woman tries to seduce another man but is interrupted. There's some sex-related talk and a mention of possible sexual assault. Characters often drink socially/casually (one of them owns a bar), and some cigarette smoking is seen. Blythe Danner, Hilary Swank, Michael Shannon, and Robert Forster co-star.
Community Reviews
Incredibly Touching Movie!
Report this review
What's the Story?
In WHAT THEY HAD, Ruth (Blythe Danner), who has Alzheimer's, wanders out into a New York snowstorm. Ruth's daughter, Bridget (Hilary Swank), is called and arrives soon after with her own college-age daughter, Emma (Taissa Farmiga). Bridget's father, Burt (Robert Forster), tells her everything is fine, but her brother, Nicky (Michael Shannon), insists that it isn't. Ruth's condition has been getting worse, and Nicky has been dealing with everything while still trying to run a bar and salvage his suffering relationship. Meanwhile, Bridget has been largely absent, and Burt is in denial. Over the course of a few days at Christmastime, all of the family members reassess their priorities and relationships, while Bridget wrestles with the fact that her own marriage has grown stale.
Is It Any Good?
This big-hearted drama, a feature writing and directing debut by Elizabeth Chomko, is impeccably acted, with vivid, intricate relationships played out on a deceptively feisty, unruly canvas. In What They Had, Chomko, who was previously an actress and playwright, brings together five of the very best actors around, who proceed to form a tangled, passionate family unit so strong that it feels like their lives together started before the movie began. Each character is viewed as if from the inside, with his or her own logical, reasonable hopes, wants, and desires.
As a result, they clash with each other in a totally organic way. Even Farmiga's bratty Emma seems dead-on. Nothing feels forced or driven by the plot; it's far from a soap opera. Perhaps better still, Chomko deals with the subject of Alzheimer's with a light touch. This isn't a disease-of-the-week movie that heavily, miserably focuses on the malady itself rather than on the characters; it's the exact opposite. This is about how characters are affected by what's going on, and every scene springs to life. While it's still not an easy subject to digest, What They Had is ultimately a great big messy hug of a movie.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about the family dynamics in What They Had. Do they seem realistic? Why or why not?
How are drinking and smoking depicted? Are they glamorized? Are there consequences? Why does that matter?
What is Alzheimer's? Have you ever dealt with Alzheimer's in real life? How does the movie compare? How does it compare to other movies about Alzheimer's?
Movie Details
- In theaters: October 19, 2018
- On DVD or streaming: January 8, 2019
- Cast: Hilary Swank, Michael Shannon, Blythe Danner, Robert Forster
- Director: Elizabeth Chomko
- Studio: Bleecker Street
- Genre: Drama
- Run time: 101 minutes
- MPAA rating: R
- MPAA explanation: language including a brief sexual reference
- Last updated: February 26, 2023
Our Editors Recommend
-
Away from Her
Melancholy Alzheimer's drama OK for teens and up.
-
Nebraska
Wonderful father-son bonding story with language, drinking.
-
The Judge
Mature legal drama is superbly acted but a bit predictable.
For kids who love dramas
Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.
See how we rate