Beat Cop

While nostalgic enthusiasm captures the fun pixel art of the 80s, the app is ruined by over-the-top profanity and slurs that are even more offensive now than they were thirty years ago. A disclaimer at the start of Beat Cop tells us the game was made as an homage to American TV cop shows from the 1980s and (perhaps anticipating the coming barrage of insensitive, objectionable content) asks us “not to take life too seriously.” The game then starts with morning banter at the police station where cops call each other things like “c--ks--ker” and talk about how much “p--sy” they got the night before. Dialogue is peppered to the point of absurdity with curse words, which begs the question: what 80s cop shows were the developers watching? Those of us who remember the 80s know profanity wasn't allowed on network television, especially not to this degree. Because of this, Beat Cop feels more like an homage to Quentin Tarantino than Miami Vice. The Tarantino analogy extends even further when you notice the high frequency of racist epithets (“the N-word and the like) and the degrading crudity (“whore,” etc.) used for referencing women. This is clearly not a game for kids, or honestly, for anyone not up for constant verbal assault. It's too bad, because apart from the dialog, the gameplay's really pretty good.

Keeping the street factions happy while keeping crime under control and fulfilling your parking ticket quota within nine hours is dynamic and fun. Random events add much-needed humor, and 80s references abound: where else can you ticket the Dukes of Hazzard's General Lee for parking in a no-parking zone or see The Golden Child on a movie house marquee? There's a lot of good gameplay here, but it's sadly overshadowed by an extreme level of pointless crudity. The bottom line is, despite the good stuff, and despite the app's 80s Stranger Things aesthetic, this is one retro adventure your kids just shouldn't play.