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Parents' Guide to

Alexander (2005)

By Nell Minow, Common Sense Media Reviewer

age 16+

Alexander the person was great. This movie isn't.

Movie R 2004 245 minutes
Alexander (2005) Poster Image

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

Community Reviews

age 17+

Based on 4 parent reviews

age 15+

Lots of Noise

If Alexander did as much talking and scenery chewing as Colin Ferrell does in this movie, he'd never have had time to leave Macedonia, and his own soldiers would have finished him off at about age 22. Add Anthony Hopkins' bored narration, Angelina's lips, "Macedonians" who were clearly from Ireland and Yorkshire, and somehow they managed to make the greatest conqueror of all time into a whiny cartoon character with bad hair. Lots of violence, sexual innuendo, but the only swearing is probably by the audience.
age 18+

Meh. Its alright

As someone who is really fascinated by ancient history I had to enjoy this movie, but honestly it was sort of hard too. The movie has its downs, and by downs I mainly mean the nonstop gay love scenes that turn out to have no meaning to the plot whatsoever (thats why they are so hard to watch! they lack meaning..). However, the movie has some incredible battle scenes, and several great landscape shots which I felt to be very captivating. Most critics like to take shots at the actors but honestly I thought Val Kilmer and Angelina Jolie were fantastic, Colin Ferrall not so much (not terrible though).. If your interested in ancient history this is worth the watch, if not do not bother wasting your time because the movie does not possess a lot of depth.

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say (4 ):
Kids say (5 ):

Alexander the person was great; ALEXANDER the movie is not. It is horrendously bad, a genuine 40-car pile-up of literally epic proportions, a three-way head-on collision of bad writing, bad acting, and bad direction. The one watchable part of the movie are the battle scenes. Writer/director Oliver Stone can stage a battle. The fights with the soldiers of Persia and India are striking and the confrontation between horse- and elephant-riders is exceptional. But the rest of the movie is dreadful, a mish-mash of a clunker script delivered in a mish-mash of accents. It's bad enough when one of the Greek soldiers speaks with the actor's own Scottish burr. It is even worse when Roxane (Rosario Dawson), the wife Alexander chooses from Bactria, uses the kind of faux all-purpose foreign pronunciation usually reserved for native maidens in 1940's B-movies set on tropical islands. She sees him with Hephaestion (Jared Leto) and hisses "You love chhHEEEM!!"

The accents may be all over the place, but the Classic Comic-style dialogue is consistently terrible. No one could make these lines sound believable: "You must never confuse your feelings with your duties!" "Your life hangs in the balance!" "You can run to the ends of the earth, you coward, but you will never run far enough!" "We are most alone when we are with the myths." "It was here that Alexander made one of his most mysterious decisions." "They forgive you because you make them proud of themselves!" "What have I done to make you hate me so?" "You're a king -- act like one!" Perhaps most disappointing of all is that there is not one performance with any authenticity or appeal. Even Farrell and Jolie lose all sense of perspective and resort to snorts and eye-rolling histrionics.

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