Parents' Guide to Firestarter

Thoroughly bland and uninspired, this cheap-looking adaptation of Stephen King's 1980 novel just goes through the motions, failing to deliver any thrills or scares and feeling utterly pointless. From its twitchy "decaying video" opening titles to its bleary, blobby digital gore effects, everything about Firestarter is numbingly familiar. The original 1984 movie (starring Drew Barrymore and George C. Scott) isn't exactly remembered as a high point of King adaptations, and it should have been ripe for reinterpretation. And director Keith Thomas, whose spookily atmospheric The Vigil relied on strong character development and strange storytelling, was a great choice for the job. What went wrong is anyone's guess.

Perhaps too many corners were cut. Attempts to flesh the characters out simply come across as lazy exposition (the movie was written by Scott Teems, whose Halloween Kills has the same problem), and the clunky camerawork seems designed to hide the subpar effects. On the plus side, the movie has a fun music score by none other than John Carpenter, his son Cody Carpenter, and collaborator Daniel A. Davies (even if the music is simply draped over the scenes with little rhyme or reason). And star Efron -- many of whose previous performances can be kindly described as "vacant" -- has finally learned to fit in, appearing to actually interact with others. But those two things aside, Firestarter is far too soggy to make any kind of spark.