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Parents' Guide to

Her

By S. Jhoanna Robledo, Common Sense Media Reviewer

age 16+

Graceful, strange romance with intense moments of sexuality.

Movie R 2013 119 minutes
Her Poster Image

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

Community Reviews

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age 15+

Based on 15 parent reviews

Sadie B.
Sadie B. Adult
February 22, 2021
age 18+

This title has:

Too much sex
Chris_Feher
Chris_Feher Adult
April 13, 2020
age 16+

A Beautifully Graceful Film

Yes, there are a couple moments of intense sexuality, especially the phone sex scene. And yes, there is plenty of strong language. But is it worth the watch? Also yes. This film is absolutely amazing. Joaquin does an incredible job of portraying a man troubled with his relationship, and who has to struggle his way to coming to terms with is love. The story is emotional, and both main actors do a wonderful job at displaying that. Which is just one of the many reasons it is so good. Her is a must watch for romance lovers as well as drama lovers, or just movie buffs in general. It is graceful, it is beautiful, and in my books, it is an instant classic. Arguably, it is even worth the slight discomfort for younger teen, if they can handle it. Because Her is just that good! Do yourself a monumental favor and watch it. You can thank me later.

This title has:

Too much sex
Too much swearing
See all 15 parent reviews

What's the Story?

Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix) works for a website that sends out handwritten letters for others -- they don't actually write the notes longhand; they're generated by a computer. He's a master at the form. When he writes (i.e. dictates) a letter, it's passionate and heartfelt, and often plugs into the beating center of a relationship. His marriage, on the other hand, has suffered a fatal blow. His lawyer's waiting for him to sign the divorce papers, and so is his wife (Rooney Mara), but Theodore is in no hurry. He's bereft, isolated in his melancholy. An old friend (Amy Adams) can only jog him out of his funk once in a while, and she has her own problems. All of that changes when he updates the operating system on his computer (in this distant future, it's accessible with not just a desktop but an earpiece and a hand unit resembling an old-fashioned cigarette case), which comes alive with the voice of a woman (Scarlett Johansson), who promptly names herself Samantha. She's no disembodied computer voice, however; she's an evolving being, intelligent and flirtatious and easy to love. But is it love? And can it last?

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say (15 ):
Kids say (23 ):

Few movies capture the magic and the heartbreak of falling in love in an unexpected, mind-bending way; HER is one of them. Though it's set in a sterile, somewhat disembodied future, where people seem permanently outfitted with earpieces connected to their computers, bidding them to cull through their emails, make appointments, pick songs, its essential question is about something entirely human: the joy and frailty of love. Spike Jonze's film is a delicate meditation on love, but it's jubilant, too. It's also unpredictable in the best way, skipping the simplistic solutions for something more interesting and complicated.

Joaquin Phoenix commits completely to his character, exuding a sadness and vulnerability that feels particular to Theodore but entirely understandable. He's the walking personification of the audience's experience with defeat and sorrow. You can almost feel his fibers awakening again from their doleful slumber when Samantha comes into his life, adding order, yes (that is her job), but also injecting a spirited companion to his ruminations. Johanssen also deserves kudos for lending Samantha personality and verve even though we never see her. In a way, Her is just as much about allowing yourself to be free as it is allowing someone else into your life. How wonderful that a movie that is, in one way, about how we surrender too much, too often to technology also reminds us to get in touch with our own humanity.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about the relationship between Samantha and Theodore. How is their relationship similar to traditional couplings? How is it different? Is this kind of relationship really far-fetched?

  • What might the film be trying to say about the nature of love? Is this a movie about technology, or something much more human, like relationships?

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