My Bloody Valentine 3-D Movie Poster Image

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

(i)

 

Ultra-gory slasher remake isn't for kids.
  • Review Date: January 16, 2009
  • Rated: R
  • Genre: Horror
  • Release Year: 2009
  • Running Time: 101 minutes

What parents need to know

Positive messages

Repeated themes of infidelity in relationships and cops behaving badly (vigilante justice or worse).

Positive role models

Nobody worth emulating here -- the characters are pretty much uniformly unsavory and unsympathetic.

Violence

Bloody dismembered bodies, characters speared with pickaxes through the skull and torso. One such impaling makes a bloody eyeball pop out of the face. Another rips off a man's jaw and throws it across the film frame. A girl's head is split in two by a shovel. Characters are shot at close range. Visuals of ripped-out human hearts, as well as the gaping chest cavities.

Sex

Characters make a "sex tape" together in a softcore scene that features both male (from the rear) and female (from about every angle there is) nudity. An extended chase scene shows the same actress fully naked. Dialogue includes references to "hand jobs," marital infidelity, and out-of-wedlock pregnancy.

Language

Frequent strong language, including numerous uses of "f--k" and "s--t," as well as "c--k," "p---y," "ass," "bitch," "damn," and "oh my God."

Consumerism

Some product names in the background of a grocery store, barely distinct.

Drinking, drugs, & smoking

Cigarette smoking, some drinking (including underaged). One character is obviously drunk. A main character takes some sort of prescription medication for mental illness.

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that this ultra-gory slasher/horror remake is full of foulmouthed, unsavory characters, many of whom end up getting speared by pickaxe blades, shot, dismembered, and/or eviscerated. Human hearts are torn out and put inside chocolate boxes. There's extensive nudity in a sex scene that eventually becomes a nude chase-murder scene. Teenagers drink with abandon, police officers are unethical, husbands are unfaithful, and boyfriends are menacing. Strong language flows freely, from "damn" to "f--k" and everything in between.

What's the story?

In a small, dreary mining town called Harmony, miner Harry Warden -- who was trapped in a Valentine's Day cave-in -- earns notoriety by pick-axing to death all the miners stuck with him (he wanted all the air for himself). Though found comatose, Harry wakes up to claim additional victims (hospital personnel and partying teens) before being shot and chased into the depths of the mine. Ten years later, on the anniversary of the slaughter, Tom Hannigan (Jensen Ackles) -- who barely escaped Harry the first time -- returns to town to take ownership of his family's mine. An old high-school love triangle rekindles between Tom, volatile young sheriff Axel (Kerr Smith), and Axel's betrayed wife (Jaime King). Coincidentally, a shambling figure in a gas mask and mining uniform recommences pick-axing townspeople and ripping out their hearts to make grotesque Valentines. Is Harry still alive -- or is it some other masked maniac?

Is it any good?

QUALITY

It may or may not help that this shocker treats the whole plot seriously, not parodying the trashy cliches of such shockers the way the popular Scream movies do. MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D remakes a 1981 Canadian "splatter" film of the same name -- which itself was one of many copies of the original Halloween and Friday the 13th that got cranked out when studios discovered young ticket buyers with an insatiable appetite for cheaply produced, graphically explicit gore-sex-murder flicks with a strong teenage vibe. If you were very lucky, there might be a "whodunit" aspect and OK acting to make it more than just sadistic dare-you-to-look locker-room voyeurism.

That's the case with the 2009 MBV, which not only has a climactic twist but also well-done 3-D special effects (a "flat" 2D version was also released). Some visual gimmickry -- like an eyeball popping out -- exploits the "sicko" possibilities of the effects; others are spookier and more subtle, like the slow sweep of a rifle barrel or the lighthouse-like beacon of the killer's flashlight helmet. Only in the last 15 minutes or so are so many items poked and thrown in your face that it becomes deadening overkill.

Families can talk about...

  • Families can talk about the appeal of this type of horror movie. Why do audiences enjoy watching people be hideously killed? How does seeing this type of violence affect viewers?

  • How does this kind of horror film compare to scares in older movies of the 1950s, '40s, and '30s, when audiences got their thrills from the tamer Dracula, Wolf Man, or Black Lagoon creature?

  • Parents, ask your teens about their favorite horror movies or slasher villains. Why do they like them? What sets one apart from the other?

Movie details

Theatrical release date:January 16, 2009
DVD release date:May 19, 2009
Cast:Jaime King, Jensen Ackles, Kerr Smith
Director:Patrick Lussier
Studio:Lionsgate
Genre:Horror
Run time:101 minutes
MPAA rating:R
MPAA explanation:graphic brutal horror violence and grisly images throughout, some strong sexuality, graphic nudity and language

This review of My Bloody Valentine 3-D was written by

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Quality

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  • Best: Really engaging; great learning approach.
  • Very Good: Engaging; good learning approach.
  • Good: Pretty engaging; good learning approach.
  • Fair: Somewhat engaging; OK learning approach.
  • Not for Learning: Not recommended for learning.
  • Not for Kids: Not age-appropriate for kids; not recommended for learning.

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Adult Written byrepyocity23 June 19, 2009
Adult Written byChris LP January 28, 2009

A Flashback to the 1980's!!

This movie is a fantastic treat for all fans of 1980 horror films. It has great gory effects, wonderful acting, and a lot of cliches. Go see it! It's a fun joy ride through hell. Plus, if you're like me: a huge fan of The CW's hit horror/drama series "Supernatural", it stars Jensen Ackles.
Adult Written byjoshua martinez July 24, 2010

not for kids.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D is one of those horror movies that your kids should not watch at all this movie is only for adults and parents you need to know that this movie is very violent and gory there's one graphic sex scene and there's graphic nudity shown and a lot of strong language used and there is some mild drinking, smoking and drugs used such as Cigarette smoking, some drinking including underaged and the main character takes some sort of prescription medication for mental illness.
What other families should know
Too much violence
Too much sex
Too much swearing
Too much drinking/drugs/smoking

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