My Bloody Valentine 3-D

 
Ultra-gory slasher remake isn't for kids.
  • Review Date: January 16, 2009
  • Rated: R
  • Genre: Horror
  • Release Year: 2009
  • Running Time: 101 minutes

What parents need to know

Positive messages

Repeated themes of infidelity in relationships and cops behaving badly (vigilante justice or worse).

Positive role models

Nobody worth emulating here -- the characters are pretty much uniformly unsavory and unsympathetic.

Violence

Bloody dismembered bodies, characters speared with pickaxes through the skull and torso. One such impaling makes a bloody eyeball pop out of the face. Another rips off a man's jaw and throws it across the film frame. A girl's head is split in two by a shovel. Characters are shot at close range. Visuals of ripped-out human hearts, as well as the gaping chest cavities.

Sex

Characters make a "sex tape" together in a softcore scene that features both male (from the rear) and female (from about every angle there is) nudity. An extended chase scene shows the same actress fully naked. Dialogue includes references to "hand jobs," marital infidelity, and out-of-wedlock pregnancy.

Language

Frequent strong language, including numerous uses of "f--k" and "s--t," as well as "c--k," "p---y," "ass," "bitch," "damn," and "oh my God."

Consumerism

Some product names in the background of a grocery store, barely distinct.

Drinking, drugs, & smoking

Cigarette smoking, some drinking (including underaged). One character is obviously drunk. A main character takes some sort of prescription medication for mental illness.

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that this ultra-gory slasher/horror remake is full of foulmouthed, unsavory characters, many of whom end up getting speared by pickaxe blades, shot, dismembered, and/or eviscerated. Human hearts are torn out and put inside chocolate boxes. There's extensive nudity in a sex scene that eventually becomes a nude chase-murder scene. Teenagers drink with abandon, police officers are unethical, husbands are unfaithful, and boyfriends are menacing. Strong language flows freely, from "damn" to "f--k" and everything in between.

What's the story?

In a small, dreary mining town called Harmony, miner Harry Warden -- who was trapped in a Valentine's Day cave-in -- earns notoriety by pick-axing to death all the miners stuck with him (he wanted all the air for himself). Though found comatose, Harry wakes up to claim additional victims (hospital personnel and partying teens) before being shot and chased into the depths of the mine. Ten years later, on the anniversary of the slaughter, Tom Hannigan (Jensen Ackles) -- who barely escaped Harry the first time -- returns to town to take ownership of his family's mine. An old high-school love triangle rekindles between Tom, volatile young sheriff Axel (Kerr Smith), and Axel's betrayed wife (Jaime King). Coincidentally, a shambling figure in a gas mask and mining uniform recommences pick-axing townspeople and ripping out their hearts to make grotesque Valentines. Is Harry still alive -- or is it some other masked maniac?

Is it any good?

QUALITY
 

MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D remakes a 1981 Canadian "splatter" film of the same name -- which itself was one of many copies of the original Halloween and Friday the 13th that got cranked out when studios discovered young ticket buyers with an insatiable appetite for cheaply produced, graphically explicit gore-sex-murder flicks with a strong teenage vibe. If you were very lucky, there might be a "whodunit" aspect and OK acting to make it more than just sadistic dare-you-to-look locker-room voyeurism.

That's the case with the 2009 MBV, which not only has a climactic twist but also well-done 3-D special effects (a "flat" 2D version was also released). Some visual gimmickry -- like an eyeball popping out -- exploits the "sicko" possibilities of the effects; others are spookier and more subtle, like the slow sweep of a rifle barrel or the lighthouse-like beacon of the killer's flashlight helmet. Only in the last 15 minutes or so are so many items poked and thrown in your face that it becomes deadening overkill. It may or may not help that this shocker treats the whole plot seriously, not parodying the trashy cliches of such shockers the way the popular Scream movies do.

Families can talk about...

  • Families can talk about the appeal of this type of horror movie. Why do audiences enjoy watching people be hideously killed? How does seeing this type of violence affect viewers?

  • How does this kind of horror film compare to scares in older movies of the 1950s, '40s, and '30s, when audiences got their thrills from the tamer Dracula, Wolf Man, or Black Lagoon creature?

  • Parents, ask your teens about their favorite horror movies or slasher villains. Why do they like them? What sets one apart from the other?

Movie details

Theatrical release date:January 16, 2009
DVD release date:May 19, 2009
Cast:Jaime King, Jensen Ackles, Kerr Smith
Director:Patrick Lussier
Studio:Lionsgate
Genre:Horror
Run time:101 minutes
MPAA rating:R
MPAA explanation:graphic brutal horror violence and grisly images throughout, some strong sexuality, graphic nudity and language

This review of My Bloody Valentine 3-D was written by

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Quality

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  • Not for Kids: Not age-appropriate for kids; not recommended for learning.

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Kid, 12 years old August 14, 2009
age 3+
 

great for littel kids and 3 years old

i love very mucth with my brother and littel baby i want to tell all the parent to allow there kids to see that movie
What other families should know
Great messages
Great role models
Kid, 12 years old April 7, 2015
age 17+
 

Good, too sexual

This review will pretty much focus on the sexual end of the movie. Two characters, Irene and Frank, are shown having sex on a bed. They managed not to show any male nudity, but there's a lot, and I mean a lot, of female nudity. You can see her breasts bouncing up and down, her bare legs, her bare back, and some of her butt crack. Frank gets up, and you see his buttocks briefly. At that moment, Irene is sitting naked on the bed, but she's covering her vagina with a blanket. You can still see her breasts and stomach, however. Frank then picks up a camera, and it turns out he taped their sexual encounter and is selling it. Irene, clearly angry, jumps up, and you can see all of her frontal area: her bare breasts, her stomach, her vagina and pubic hair, and her bare legs. She yells, "I'm not a hooker!" Frank yells back, "You are now," as he throws a twenty dollar bill on her. Frank leaves, and Irene is very angry. She bends over to her purse, and you can see her bare butt and pubic hair. She pulls out a pistol, grins, and walks out the door, still completely naked. The camera zooms in onto her lower body, and you can see her butt bouncing up and down as she's walking to Frank. You also see some pubic hair in her butt crack and her bare thighs. The camera comes around to her upper front, and you see as she's walking her breasts bouncing up and down. Frank, noticing her, tells her to put her clothes on, and she yells I don't give a s--t about the clothes. You can see her breasts, stomach, vagina and legs in this scene. As Frank opens his truck door, someone plants an axe down into his head. Irene, terrified, screams and runs away, and her butt is bouncing as the killer walks towards her. She sprints into the apartment, butt and breasts bouncing. She bends over to pick up her phone, and you see a lot of graphic nudity at this shot: her bare butt and legs, entire vagina, and the tips of her breasts. She then drops the phone and runs toward a bedroom and you can see her back and high butt crack in this scene. She fumbles around the bedroom, and you see almost every inch of her naked body. She then dives under a bed, and you see her bare butt as she crawls under it. Irene covers her mouth, and you see her bare breasts. The killer walks around the room, searching for Irene. Irene, covering her mouth, lays still under her bed, and you see her breasts and vagina in this shot. He sees her, and tries to grab her. Irene retaliates, yelling curse words at him and kicking him. He then lifts up the bed, and pins her against the wall. You see all of her frontal area. He stabs her, killing her. There then is a shot of her, covered in blood, naked on the floor, and you see her vagina and butt.
What other families should know
Too much sex
Teen, 17 years old Written byIamsobae April 6, 2015
age 16+
 

A movie filled with gratuitous nudity and violence

This movie was, well, interesting. It is definitely very graphic, in the terms of violence, language, and of course, sex. Violence-wise, there is a lot of pickaxe stabbing, gun shooting, etc. There is even a scene where a woman's head get's split in half by a shovel. In the language category, it is some of the worst I've seen. There's the occasional use of f***, s***, a**, d***, etc. There are also words and derivatives like c***, p****, and m********er. The sex category falls in first, and it was worse than the violence. There are many references about sexual things, which isn't surprising for an R-rated movie. The nudity is very gratuitous, but many people enjoy that part of the movie. But then there's the sex scene and chase. There's a scene where two characters are having intimate sex. You can't see any male nudity (except for when they finish having sex he stands up and there is a glimpse of his buttocks.) However, there is a large amount of female nudity. During the sex scene, you end up seeing her breasts, buttocks, back, stomach, and vagina. Afterwards, he stands up, gets dressed, and walks away with a tape he took. She yells "I'm not a hooker!" and he yells back, "you are now." Angry, she gets up, still naked, grabs a pistol, and walks out the door into public. She shouts things like f*** you at him as she's running to him. Her breasts and buttocks are bouncing the entire time. When he opens his truck, an axe comes down on his head, killing him. She gets scared, and once again runs away, this time with close-up shots of her buttocks. She fumbles around the apartment, still naked, trying to hide. This is probably the most graphic scene in the movie, as you don't just see every bare part of her body, there are close ups. At one point she briefly bends over, so you see her buttocks and vagina. She dives under a bed before he walks in, once again revealing her buttocks, which bounce. The camera switches between him searching and shots of her under the bed, and you see her breasts, and her vagina for a brief moment. He bends down and sees her, but she retaliates and starts kicking him. While she's kicking him you see her whole body except for her buttocks. He then lifts off the mattress, and there's a lengthy shot of her, lying naked under a bed frame. You can see everything in this shot: Her bare breasts, her bare stomach, her vagina, and her bare legs. She turns over, revealing everything else: Her bare back, her bare buttocks, her lower vagina, her bare thighs, and the rest of her legs. She stands up while shes holding the bed frame, which reveals her buttocks and breasts bouncing. She runs around the room, once again revealing every bare inch of her body. At one point she falls over on her stomach, and the intruder then stabs one of her buttocks. She yells in pain, and as she grabs her hurt buttock, the intruder pins her up to the wall, face first. She is sobbing, and he's rubbing her bare body. He turns her towards him, and she yells "what the f*** do you want!" After that he kills her with the pickaxe. As you can tell, this movie has too much nudity, as that whole scene is almost ten minutes long. This is an okay movie, but I would definitely hold off until you're 17, not because of the violence, not because of the swearing, but because of the sex and nudity. I hope this review helped you make a decision on whether you'd like to watch this or not. Thank you for reading! : ) My rating, which the MPPA should definitely consider: R- Prolonged Sequences of Graphic Nudity, Sexual Content and Strong Language Throughout, and Intense Graphic Scenes of Horror Violence and Gore.
What other families should know
Too much sex

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