Parents' Guide to

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

By S. Jhoanna Robledo, Common Sense Media Reviewer

age 4+

Like steamed veggies: Good for you, but bland.

Movie G 2008 84 minutes
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie Poster Image

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

Community Reviews

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age 4+

Based on 10 parent reviews

Spider2003
Spider2003 Adult
May 10, 2021
age 4+

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything : A Veggietales Movie Movie review by Logan Strohl

While it's not Jonah a veggietales movie The Pirates who don't do anything do anything a veggietales movie is still pretty great and loads of fun and has a great message in it for followers of God and plus great songs and funny humor.

This title has:

Great messages
Great role models
Laurie A G.
Laurie A G. Parent of 3, 5 and 6-year-old
June 13, 2020
age 5+

Some Parts Are Scary for Younger Kids

There are definitely some funny parts in this movie, but my kids (aged 6 and 3) didn’t laugh as much as I thought they would. Because there were no stars for violence and scariness, I didn’t click on it and read more. It seems like a lot of the G-rated movies we look at here have three stars for “Violence and Scariness,” but this one has none. I wouldn’t expect that unless there was literally nothing scary going on. I think this one definitely warrants one star for “Violence and Scariness.” I agree that the movie is not right for kids under four. My daughter, age 3, was not traumatized at all, but she was a bit scared at some of the scenes, like the ones featuring the Pirate Roberts and the ones featuring mechanical dragons. There’s also a scene where the heroes make a chandelier drop on Pirate Roberts. He is apparently a pea that was sitting in a suit which gave him arms and legs. When the chandelier hits him, the pea part of his body (which looks like a round head wearing a hat) rolls away. It looks like he was beheaded. I had to explain to my daughter what was going on, and she was fine after that. But it was a bit confusing.

This title has:

Great messages
Great role models
See all 10 parent reviews

What's the Story?

Three "cabin boys" at the Pieces of Ate Dinner Theater dream of the big time, when they'll move up from their lowly busboy positions and join the pirate show on stage. But they're hardly the handsome or muscled type. Elliot (played by Mike Nawrocki voiced Larry the Cucumber, who's one of the mainstays of the VeggieTales series) is sickly and has a long list of things that scare him; Sedgwick (here played by Phil Vischer's Mr. Lunt, a gourd) talks a good game but is more comic than courageous; and George (Vischer's Pa Grape) has no confidence whatsoever. (Even his kids think the dinner theater's pirate is cooler than their dad).

But then a "help-seeker" -- a magical time-travel device -- calls on the trio to step back to the 17th century to help Princess Eloise (Laura Gerow) save her brother, Prince Alexander (Yuri Lowenthal). He's been abducted by Robert the Terrible (Cam Clarke), the siblings' ambitious uncle -- who happens to be a marauding pirate who longs for the adulation that his brother the king receives. Eloise wishes for heroes, and suddenly, Elliot, Sedgwick, and George appear.

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say (10):
Kids say (11):

THE PIRATES WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING is self-effacing, all right -- just look at its nondescript title -- but it does have a strong and admirable message. Do the right thing, and don't worry about whether you look the part of anything (in this case, a hero). Will it, live it, have some faith, and you'll be it.

There's never a doubt that the three will realize their potential in the end, but their journey is still enjoyable for the most part. The music, like that of VeggieTales adventures past, is infectious (watch out for the gang's hilarious version of "Rock Lobster," here called "Rock Monster"), and nothing in the storyline is objectionable. Still, it starts out a little too slow for a movie targeted at school-age kids with short attention spans. The jokes can be clunky, and the animation is unsophisticated (except for the Rock Monsters, everything else seems a little flat).

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about how this movie is similar to and different from other VeggieTales titles.

  • What does the VeggieTales brand mean to you and your family?

  • How is it different from other kids' and family media brands?

  • Families can also discuss George/Pa Grape's lack of confidence. How does he measure himself at first? Does he see things differently in the end? Why?

  • What about Elliot/Larry and his many fears? How does he overcome them?

Movie Details

Did we miss something on diversity?

Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.

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