The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie Movie Poster Image

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie



Like steamed veggies: Good for you, but bland.
Parents recommendPopular with kids
  • Rated: G
  • Genre: Family and Kids
  • Release Year: 2008
  • Running Time: 84 minutes

What parents need to know

Positive messages

Three unassuming busboys prove they're heroes when they go back in time and save a prince from a vengeful pirate, who gets his comeuppance. In the end, nearly everyone comes around and learns a good lesson: Do the right thing and be a hero, no matter whether you think you have the makings of one.

Positive role models
Not applicable
Violence & scariness

A cartoon pirate who thirsts for fame and power brandishes a sword near a character's head. He also abducts a prince. Some bickering.

Sexy stuff
Not applicable

No swearing, though the word "loser" is used a few times.


VeggieTales is a thriving franchise with toys, DVDs, merchandise, etc.

Drinking, drugs, & smoking

One character has a strong penchant for "cheese curls" (i.e. cheese puffs).

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that this animated film -- part of a large, Christian-themed film-and-TV franchise -- has a light touch when it comes to sending its feel-good message (which, this time around, is that anyone can be a hero; all it takes is to do what you know is right). Some situations, as when a pirate captures a young man, sound perilous, but they're not that scary. There's no swearing, violence, or sexual innuendo, but several specific products are mentioned by name -- noticeably more than in other VeggieTales titles.

What's the story?

Three "cabin boys" at the Pieces of Ate Dinner Theater dream of the big time, when they'll move up from their lowly busboy positions and join the pirate show on stage. But they're hardly the handsome or muscled type. Elliot (played by Mike Nawrocki voiced Larry the Cucumber, who's one of the mainstays of the VeggieTales series) is sickly and has a long list of things that scare him; Sedgwick (here played by Phil Vischer's Mr. Lunt, a gourd) talks a good game but is more comic than courageous; and George (Vischer's Pa Grape) has no confidence whatsoever. (Even his kids think the dinner theater's pirate is cooler than their dad).

But then a "help-seeker" -- a magical time-travel device -- calls on the trio to step back to the 17th century to help Princess Eloise (Laura Gerow) save her brother, Prince Alexander (Yuri Lowenthal). He's been abducted by Robert the Terrible (Cam Clarke), the siblings' ambitious uncle -- who happens to be a marauding pirate who longs for the adulation that his brother the king receives. Eloise wishes for heroes, and suddenly, Elliot, Sedgwick, and George appear.

Is it any good?


THE PIRATES WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING is self-effacing, all right -- just look at its nondescript title -- but it does have a strong and admirable message. Do the right thing, and don't worry about whether you look the part of anything (in this case, a hero). Will it, live it, have some faith, and you'll be it.

There's never a doubt that the three will realize their potential in the end, but their journey is still enjoyable for the most part. The music, like that of VeggieTales adventures past, is infectious (watch out for the gang's hilarious version of "Rock Lobster," here called "Rock Monster"), and nothing in the storyline is objectionable. Still, it starts out a little too slow for a movie targeted at school-age kids with short attention spans. The jokes can be clunky, and the animation is unsophisticated (except for the Rock Monsters, everything else seems a little flat).

Families can talk about...

  • Families can talk about how this movie is similar to and different from other VeggieTales titles.

  • What does the VeggieTales brand mean to you and your family?

  • How is it different from other kids' and family media brands?

  • Families can also discuss George/Pa Grape's lack of confidence. How does he measure himself at first? Does he see things differently in the end? Why?

  • What about Elliot/Larry and his many fears? How does he overcome them?

Movie details

Theatrical release date:January 11, 2008
DVD/Streaming release date:October 13, 2008
Cast:Cam Clarke, Mike Nawrocki, Phil Vischer
Director:Mike Nawrocki
Studio:Universal Pictures
Genre:Family and Kids
Topics:Magic and fantasy, Adventures, Music and sing-along, Pirates
Run time:84 minutes
MPAA rating:G

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Teen, 15 years old Written byChristian_girl April 19, 2010

Nothing Better Than Veggies

I'm just going to let you know, I usually rate movies for a higher age than I really think can watch it in case of sensitive kids or strict parents. My one-year-old niece loves this movie as much as I do... and that's saying something. This movie has no violence in it. Sure, the movie starts with a swordfight but no one gets hurt. The prince knocks someone off of the ship with the flat end of his sword, but but you can take this as, maybe, that the point of this fight isn't to chop up some veggies, it's whoever gets knocked off the ship is out! It's also got a good Christian message. Now, now, don't you go telling me there's nothing Christian in this movie. This is just as Christian as Narnia, which can be found in all Christian bookstores. The King is God, the King of Kings. The King's children are God's children, Christians. The helpseeker, at times, represents prayer. And Robert the Terrible... guess who he is. Notice the Pirates don't really do much by themselves. They hit the button on the helpseeker and the King takes it from there. Everything the Pirates need, they are given by the King, who is God. Rock monsters? No problem. The King will send something to distract them. ***SPOILER*** Eaten by a mechanical dragon? Just pull the lever. Cornered by a villain? There's a chandelier right above you. **SPOILER OVER** More subtle, if you need a captain because your original cap'n was kidnapped, a hero will be sent to you who just happens to have read a few books on the subject. ***SPOILER*** The King himself hints that he sent the lever to save Elliot from the contraption, the crab to show Sedgewick the cave exit, and the chandelier, too. The King actually is God, so he can do stuff like that. **SPOILER OVER** Sorry that half of this review is a spoiler, I'm just trying to make a point here. This movie has more morals than you might notice. It says that God will take care of you, if you let Him, and he'll help you do the right thing, if you let Him. (The "if you let Him"s were my own addition, the movie didn't say that.) The path God chooses for you may not be easy but He will guide you safely through anything and everything you face. ***IN THE END,*** the heroes learn their lessons. George learns self-confidence. Sedgewick learns not to be lazy and to never give up. Elliot faces his fears to save his friends, even though he's scared of just about everything. Willory learns not to judge a book by its cover. I, myself, picked up a little something about "tests". When Elliot is on the beach and the helpseeker says he can go home if he wants, even though his friends still need his help, the King says that was a test, which he passed with flying colors. If this doesn't make sense now, it will when you see the movie. SPOILER OVER** Huh, the review's over too. Go figure.
What other families should know
Great messages
Great role models
Kid, 12 years old March 21, 2009

I laughed, I cried, it moved me, Bob!

When I saw the first Veggie Tales movie, I was five years old. Six years later, the second one comes out. This is the first Veggie Tales anything that isn't based off a religious tale, but does send out a quite Christian message. Violence is limited to slapstick and swordplay, consumerism is noticeable, no sexual content that occurred, and language is limited to name-calling such as "moron," "loser," and "crazy," but most parents wouldn't find the content disturbing. I think the animation could've been better, but overall it's a five-star movie! No doubt about it! This is a great movie to watch on a family night when you want a good kid's comedy with some brief adult humor with a good message!
What other families should know
Too much consumerism
Parent of a 5 year old Written bylpattie October 10, 2009

the funnest movie

it is pretty good for 4 years old
What other families should know
Too much swearing
Educational value
Great messages
Great role models