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Parent reviews for Vampires Suck

Common Sense says

Lowbrow, sex-and-violence-laden vampire spoof really bites.
Based on our expert review

Parents say

age 13+
Based on 23 reviews

Kids say

age 12+
Based on 112 reviews
Parent of a 12, 15, and 16 year old Written byawesome mom lori October 28, 2010

great for eleven years and up

It was a great movie. Parents who are not letting thier kids watch it are really stuid. I am a parent myself and i let my twelve year old and her eleven year old friend go see it. it is very appropriate for eleven and up. You should not hesitate to let your chilren go see it.

This title contains:

Positive Messages
Positive role models
Adult Written byTrevorsHeartburn September 26, 2015

zomg Edward is like the hottest!!!1!! ^_^b

i may have only been 12 when i watched this movie, but i wouldnt suggest it to anyone who desnt already like hot dudes !!1

This title contains:

Positive role models
Adult Written bychristian2011 November 20, 2012

Don't even bother seeing this.

Probably, in my opinion, one of the most pointless, dull, cheesy, and ridiculous parodies based on the Twilight franchise.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Language
Consumerism
Adult Written byTrixieSmathers September 6, 2014

Shock humor but funny nonetheless

I think I saw this a year ago when I was 17. There's nothing in it that the average middle school student would not already be familiar with and exposed to. The humor doesn't have much class and some of it fails but its parody entertaining. Nowhere near as awesome as what I consider to be the best parody ever- Not Another Teen Movie (but that's actually for 17 and up). Definitely watch this with friends or by yourself. Under absolutely no circumstance should you let your parents watch this with you, you won't be able to laugh when you want to and they will constantly tell you what they find wrong/gross. Not a family movie.
Parent of an infant, 13, and 16 year old Written byParentReviewer August 8, 2012

UNRATED VERSION Review.

I'm going to review the UNRATED version because if you buy (Hopefully not) the dvd it includes this also. Language 5/10: (1 F-Word towards the end, Sh*t, D*mn, H*ll, B*tch, and A*s are used frequently also slang for body parts W*ng, T*ts, and P*ssy.) Sex/Nudity 8/10: (A man recommends his daughter should get butt-implants so someone will "do" her and he also comments on her breast size. The same man keeps a naked blow-up doll in his daughter's room breasts and pubic hair visible later, the man says he and his doll will need to "get busy". A young woman trying to save her boyfriend fights her way through a fountain filled with Jell-o and Girls in Bikinis. A young woman writes a letter to her lover saying how she hopes she can defecate again soon. Another woman says how men ask her if "The carpets match the drapes". One Almost Sex Scene which includes a woman in a dominatrix suit.) Violence/Gore 6/10: (Beatings, Stabbings, Bones Protruding Skin, and Decapitations all cartoonish and featuring no blood.) This Movie isn't for young fans of the twilight saga, it's target audience.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Sexy stuff
Language
Drinking, Drugs & Smoking
Adult Written bynduns August 18, 2010

Why did I have hope for this?

Easy, because for once the trailers made it look like those morons, Friedberg and Seltzer, finally got something right! I had hope for this, I really did and... these guys don't try, that's it! But since Twilight is being so hated these days, this is going to do well, I just know it.
Adult Written byZhash August 29, 2012

Vampires Suck doesn't suck.

Vampires Suck is Rated PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Sexy stuff
Language
Parent of a 7, 11, and 13 year old Written bytuckers mom September 2, 2010

ok for older teens but a really horrible movie overall

the movie had a clever premise, the casting was spot on and there were some funny lines but it was just stupid. Most of the gags weren't funny to me and the best parts were shown in the previews. Really bad movie.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Sexy stuff
Language
Parent of a 11 and 12 year old Written byMerrie January 2, 2011

pick something else. Period

I wouldn't want my kids repeating or emulating anything in this movie, at any age but ceratainly not appropriate for younger than teens. I would chose something else if searching for a funny movie to watch with a teen.

This title contains:

Sexy stuff
Language
Adult Written bymyopinionisbest May 23, 2017

A guilty pleasure

Let me get this out of the way: I KNOW this movie is stupid and bad. It has a lot of pointless pop culture references and dumb toilet and sex humor. But you gotta give this movie credit where credit is due: it gives Twilight the bashing it deserves. As someone whose best friend forced them to sit through New Moon, watching Vampires Suck was a cathartic experience for me. It makes fun of the Twilight franchise relentlessly, and although its dumb, it made me laugh and I'm glad I saw it.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Sexy stuff
Language
Adult Written bymr.mike September 28, 2010
i think this is the funnist thing i have ever seen.if you still did not watch go and watch it

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Adult Written byRGdad August 22, 2010

""MIGHT"" be ok for 14+ but not for younger kids!

Walked my daughter out after the first 15 minutes. The guy (Edward) grabbing his crotch, with a noticeable bulged was what put me over the edge. Language very inappropriate for kids. WAY too many sexual innuendos.

This title contains:

Sexy stuff
Language
Drinking, Drugs & Smoking
Parent of a 4, 6, and 8 year old Written byParentReviewer18 August 21, 2010

Bad Movie Lives up to part of it's title... SUCK!

Over the Last couple years These so Called "Geniuses" have made Bad Spoofs of Good Films Such as (Narnia > Epic Movie) (Twilight Saga > Vampires suck) (Meet the parents > Date Movie) The Problem with these movies is that they were made for 21 year olds but attract kids with their comical humor. Though what a lot of kids don't know is that these movies are filled with Violence, Sex- Related humor, and lots of cursing including one F--K. But If Your Kids MUST See it. I Recommend you watch it with them unless they are 15.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Sexy stuff
Language
Parent of a 10 year old Written byinfowarrior January 8, 2011

poor movie, not for kids without parental involvement

The movie could be considered like the porky's movies or the fast times at ridgemont high from the 1980's. The content is ok for adults but no way for children, especially a 10 year old. The movie is a well produced parody of a pop culture hit, nothing more. It is marketed to kids in the 10 year bracket because of the pop culture hit it spoofs. Of course they, the kids, demand to see it, the trailer shows all the 'funny' parts and things that the kids find cute or laugh at. Parents should watch this movie with their kids and block out 'hands over eyes' during 70% of the movie. Definitely need to keep little eyes from seeing this one. But, I think if you watch it together and parental censor it, it lessens the 'forbidden fruit aspect' and the child will make it out hopefully not scared. But the key is to be involved here with the child. Unfortunately the decadent culture that is in the US produces this crap, price of free press, and it is the job of parents to keep the 'house clean'. Good luck fighting this battle with your kids.
Parent of an infant, 2, 4, and 5 year old Written byMeli B. December 28, 2010
We sent the kids to bed before laughing through this one. It is especially good for fans of Rifftrax, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. A bit to many sexual jokes...there were a lot of those. But, it was overall good for a night of laughs.

This title contains:

Sexy stuff
Language
Parent of a 14 year old Written byGeorgie1234 September 11, 2010
This movie was stupid. Toos much sexual content and violence. I wouldn't even let , my 13 year old twins see it after I saw it first.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Sexy stuff
Language
Consumerism
Drinking, Drugs & Smoking
Parent of a 10 year old Written byteamfosternjf September 6, 2010
Totally not suitable for kids under 13 to see!

This title contains:

Sexy stuff
Language
Parent of a 9 year old Written byL n D September 4, 2010

Not for childen under 15. Lots of sexual reference made everyone uncomfortable

I haven't been to a movie in the theatre for years and the 9 yr old friend of my son talked us into going to this because he likes the Twilight series. His parents also watch inappropriate movies with him (ie watching "R" rated movies at home). We left the theatre after 15 min. I did not get any complaints from the two boys. They realized it wasn't appropriate for them and we were also very uncomfortable watching the teen violence and sex scenes that began from the first scenes of the movie. The main character's father commented to his daughter development since her last saw her with, "look at those t-ts!" in the first few lines of the movie. The movie is not at all appropriate for 9 yr olds, and I won't even recommend it for anyone under 15. Lots of sexual inuendos and blatant sexual references. It is an "R" movie minus nudity. It could have been a silly spoof, but it wasn't.

This title contains:

Violence & scariness
Sexy stuff
Language
Parent of a 14 and 16 year old Written bymoviemomof2 August 22, 2010

We walked out of the theater on this one

I have never written a review before, but always check the site for other movies...except Vampires Suck. I really should have. The previews were very deceiving, and were the only funny parts of the movie. Most of the movie was VERY inappropriate. My family and I ended up walking out of the theater. We tried to look over the inappropriate parts in the beginning, but the scene in the bedroom with Becca revealing herself in a leather bra and panties put the icing on the cake. Also in the same scene, she took Edwards purity ring in her mouth and recycled it as a tounge piercing. I found that highly offensive! I regret now spending the money I did for the tickets. I highly recommend NOT seeing the movie. I also recommend not even renting it when it comes out on video. Hope this helps any other parents.
Parent of a 7, 9, and 12 year old Written bykarinyak August 22, 2010

Very inappropritate. Not PG-13 at all. More like PG-16

WAY too much inappropriate language. Very offensive when the father comments on his daughters chest size.

This title contains:

Sexy stuff
Language
Consumerism

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