Parents' Guide to Mortal Engines

Simpleminded and mechanical, this movie clumsily borrows from every sci-fi/fantasy movie of the last 40 years, smushing everything together with inept filmmaking and a total lack of logic or emotion. Based on a young adult novel by Philip Reeve and -- shockingly -- adapted by Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, and Fran Walsh, Mortal Engines does have some cool costumes and production design, but that only goes so far. The rest is numbingly familiar. The movie doesn't even seem to take any joy in its copying; rather than paying homage to anything, it's a slavish, soulless piece of work, as if done by a computer cut-and-paste application.

It's not even any fun. It's certainly too childish for teen viewers -- but it's also too brutally violent for younger viewers. The sloppily shot and hastily cut action sequences are piled on top of other scenes that don't stick to any kind of character logic or need; everything that happens serves only the plot. The dialogue is wince-inducing, and characters spend most of the movie either scowling (trying to look cool) or staring slack-jawed at some impressive piece of scenery. By the end, it becomes painfully clear that most of the incessant stealing can be traced to the Star Wars movies; Mortal Engines has the dubious honor of making even the worst entries in that series look accomplished and admirable.