Parents need to know that The Notebook is a World War II-era romantic drama film directed by Nick Cassavetes and based on the 1996 novel of the same name by Nicholas Sparks. Scenes include passionate kissing and a fairly graphic lovemaking scene (though only shoulders and a side breast are shown). Characters drink and smoke; there's also brief battle violence and poignant deaths. Language includes "damn," "son of a bitch," "ass," and the slur "squaw." Iffy messages around romance include the portrayals of stalking, coercion, and domestic violence as simply "passion." The cast is predominantly White, while Black supporting characters fall into various clichés (e.g., a maid).
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Sex, Romance & Nudity
a lot
Steamy passion between the two young lovers. Lots of making out and heavy petting. Characters undress in front of each other (only their shoulders are shown). A fairly graphic lovemaking scene (again, just shoulders visible, plus a brief glimpse of breast from the side).
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A 17-year-old smokes a cigar. Adults drink cocktails, wine, champagne, and beer. Noah goes on a 10-day drinking binge. Characters drink in excess to ease pain or to lessen their inhibitions. Most meals are accompanied by alcohol.
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Noah and Finn are engaged in active duty during World War II. There's a bomb raid that incurs heavy losses. Allie nurses soldiers who've lost limbs. Noah stalks and pursues Allie; she repeatedly refuses him and says no, but he threatens self-harm until she consents to a date. Noah and Allie fight passionately—in multiple scenes, she hits and slaps him. Poignant deaths.
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The movie's ultimate message is that true love conquers all. But there are also less-positive takeaways and stereotypes; see more in Diverse Representations.
Diverse Representations
a little
Predominantly White cast, with most Black characters shown in stereotypical roles (e.g., maid in a wealthy household, caretakers, entertainers). Neutral depictions also include Black couples dancing alongside White couples in a 1940s social club. Socioeconomic disparities are frequently highlighted between the working class (called "poor" and "trash") and the privileged (called "rich"). A movie theater scene shows a non-Native character in redface, and the phrase "darn squaw" can be heard.
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Positive Role Models
very little
Though it's romantic to watch characters fall in love so wholly and stay devoted to each other, some of the choices that the lovers make—like cheating on a relationship, resorting to domestic violence, and lying to family members—don't qualify as role model behavior.
Parents say this movie is a touching love story that captures young love, but it has significant content warnings including explicit sexual scenes and depictions of toxic relationships, leading to mixed recommendations on age appropriateness, particularly for younger viewers under 15. While many enjoyed its romance and emotional depth, others criticized the portrayal of relationships as problematic and felt it is mostly suited for older teens or adults due to its mature themes.
sweet love story
explicit content
toxic relationships
age suitability
emotional depth
Summarized with AI
age 13+
Based on 113 kid reviews
Kids say this movie is an emotional and touching romance that often evokes tears, with many praising its heartfelt story despite concerns about its explicit content, including several passionate scenes and elements of a complicated relationship. While some feel the film promotes unhealthy relationship behaviors and contains inappropriate material, many agree it is suitable for mature younger audiences who can appreciate the themes of love, loss, and the challenges of young romance.
emotional experience
romance with issues
explicit content
suitable for teens
complex relationship dynamics
Summarized with AI
What's the Story?
THE NOTEBOOK is a story about a 1940s summer romance between Allie (Rachel McAdams), the daughter of wealthy parents, and Noah (Ryan Gosling), a working-class boy. They're crazy about each other, but her parents disapprove. When Allie goes to college, Noah writes to her every day, but Allie's mother (Joan Allen) withholds his letters. Believing neither have wanted to stay in touch, Allie and Noah go their separate ways as World War II ensues. When newly engaged Allie returns to their small town and sees Noah again, they soon realize their romance is far from over.
In this sweeping drama, the details and dialogue are a bit clumsy, but romantics likely won't care. McAdams and Gosling are talented actors of their generation. James Garner, Gena Rowlands, Sam Shepard (as Noah's father), and Allen (as Allie's mother) also give the material more than it deserves, and director Nick Cassavetes clearly wants this film to be a love letter to Rowlands, his mother, who's luminous in this film. In the end, Noah's enduring love for Allie wins hearts.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about how The Notebook depicts love and romance. Is this what a relationship is "supposed" to be like? Why, or why not?
How does the movie treat sex? What are the real-life impacts and consequences of sexual activity?
How do we know who we're meant to be with? Who should we listen to as we think about making that choice?
Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by
Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.