Parents' Guide to You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

Movie PG-13 2023 104 minutes
You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah movie poster: Tweens come of age.

Common Sense Media Review

Jennifer Green By Jennifer Green , based on child development research. How do we rate?

age 13+

Book-based coming-of-age tale has language, crude humor.

Parents Need to Know

Why Age 13+?

Any Positive Content?

Parent and Kid Reviews

age 12+

Based on 18 parent reviews

Parents say that this movie presents a mixed bag of experiences, with some finding valuable lessons about friendship and consequences, while others criticize it for its poor role models and inappropriate humor for younger audiences. Though some enjoyed its comedic and relatable moments depicting the trials of adolescence, many noted that the crude jokes and focus on boys detracted from the overall message, leading to divided opinions on its suitability for pre-teens.

  • mixed reviews
  • friendship themes
  • poor role models
  • inappropriate content
  • comedy and drama
Summarized with AI

age 12+

Based on 51 kid reviews

Kids say this movie is a funny and relatable depiction of middle school life, centered around friendship and the challenges of growing up, especially within a culturally Jewish context. While many viewers appreciate its heartwarming messages and humor, some parents express concern about inappropriate themes, language, and the portrayal of certain characters, suggesting it may be more suitable for tweens and teens rather than younger children.

  • good coming-of-age
  • relatable messages
  • mild language
  • inappropriate themes
  • rich character portrayal
  • culturally represented
Summarized with AI

What's the Story?

Life is good for tweens Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler) and best friend Lydia Rodriguez Katz (Samantha Lorraine) because this is the year they get to celebrate their much-anticipated Bat Mitzvahs in YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH. They have long-gestating plans to help each other celebrate in as extravagant a manner as possible. But that's before the two start feeling tensions -- first, when Stacy senses Lydia gaining the attention of the popular kids, and then when Stacy sees Lydia kiss the boy she likes, Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman). This means revenge for Stacy, no matter the values her parents (Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel) and rabbi (Sarah Sherman) have tried to instill in her, nor the sager advice of big sis Ronnie (Sadie Sandler).

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say ( 18 ):
Kids say ( 51 ):

This film has Judy Blume written all over it, but its main character lacks the genuine naivete that makes Blume's tween characters so lovable. Playing Stacy in You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, Sunny Sandler (Adam's daughter) wades into mean girl territory with her friends, poses and pouts for her male crush, and vamps in a sexy outfit for TikTok. It feels like a decidedly LA version of tweenhood. If you are only picking one tween girl flick this year, go with Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

That's not to say that Sunny doesn't play the character well, and it appears that all the Sandlers had a lot of fun making this movie. There are likely inside jokes galore here. Papa Sandler is in relax mode and lets his daughter take top billing, with family interactions feeling, well, pretty real. Same with the cameos and portrayals in the multigenerational Jewish community, though Sherman's performance as Rabbi Rebecca is more grating than great.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about the preparation for and meaning behind a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the event the main characters are planning for in You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah. What does the event signify in Jewish tradition? Where could you find more information?

  • Do you think both Stacy and Lydia made mistakes in their friendship, or was one guiltier than the other? Why?

  • This film stars actor Adam Sandler, his wife, and his two daughters. What do you think of that? How do you think the family connections contribute to the quality of the film, if at all?

  • If you've read the book, how does the movie differ?

Movie Details

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You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah movie poster: Tweens come of age.

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